2026-02-01
A phantom pulse throbbed in Dave’s temple, the dull punishment from last night’s bourbon. The morning light through his kitchen window was a crude, indifferent glare. But on his phone screen, her name glowed like an antidote. The sound of her voice in the audio message—concerned for him, amused at her own dogs’ antics—worked a different ache, one deep in his sternum.
He leaned back in his chair, the leather creaking a familiar sound. She was driving to Sedona. He imagined her hands on the wheel, the determined set of her jaw. He’d seen it a hundred times in pictures, that mix of fragility and steel. But then the photo arrived. Red rock spires, impossibly blue sky. Sam, in the passenger seat now, a slight, knowing smile playing on her lips. The caption: The dispensary. For a friend. He smirked, the jealous flare she expected him to feel a cheap imitation of the real, roaring need beneath it. The need to be the one with her, to be the friend. The one.
His thumb traced the curve of her jaw on the screen as her text came through: Miss you. So tired of all this… being everywhere but home.
Me too, he typed back. Feels like half of me is just… hovering. Then, more specifically, because specificity was a drug to her: Right now, I'm hovering somewhere over Flagstaff. Watching you.
You and the hot air balloons, she replied, a wink in digital form.
The memory of their phone call earlier, the one severed by spotty service, fizzed in his blood. He could hear the breathy frustration in her voice, the one she used when the world interrupted their connection. He’d told her about the dream then. Not a gentle, romantic one. A strange one, primal and disjointed. A fire that blazed with the same fierce, untamable spirit she had. It unnerved him to remember it.
Now, the connection was words. Words with weight.
The conversation had drifted into the heavy sediment of her life: Candace, work, Christian. Her anxiety was a tangible thing, a third presence in the room with him. He felt his jaw clench as she described the pressure, the feeling of being an imposter in her own life. He offered no solutions, only a scaffold of validation. Your feelings are the map, he’d told her, a line that felt stolen from their shared soul. Her subsequent gratitude, a jumbled text filled with emojis and “lmao’s,” belied the profound relief he knew she felt. To be seen. Truly seen.
As evening draped over Texas, her digital presence turned inward. The talk of Girl Scout cookies, a fleeting, silly lifeline. Then the final confession, typed as she must have been burrowing under alien hotel sheets: It’s the lying that’s exhausting. Having to hold so much truth inside.
He let the sentence hang in the quiet of his kitchen. He knew that truth. It lived in the four years of restraint, the platonic touches that held lightning, the laughter that masked a scream. It was the same truth he felt now, swelling in his throat and pulsing against the zipper of his jeans.
He didn’t text back a platitude. He responded with an order. The kind she craved when the noise of the world became too much.
Get off your feet. Stand in front of the full-length mirror. Leave your phone on the nightstand. Look at yourself. Look at the woman who carries the truth. Then close your eyes.
He could feel her obey. He could imagine the soft rustle of her clothing, the quiet sigh as she padded across the hotel carpet. A minute passed, then two. His own breathing was the only sound.
His next text broke the silence with the quiet certainty of a turning key. Now, tell me what you see with your eyes closed.
The reply was immediate, stripped of punctuation, raw: i see you i see your hands on my hips turning me from the mirror i see you pushing me facedown over the ugly hotel desk i dont want to look at myself i want to feel you look at me
Every thought of his hangover, every concern about her anxieties, incinerated in the furnace of that single sentence. A predatory calm settled over him.
Tell me what you’re wearing. Exactly.
A tshirt. Panties. Grey ones. Bare feet. came the reply.
The t-shirt. Off. Now. he commanded. He waited, picturing the arc of her arms, the flutter of cotton as it caught air and settled on a chair. The cool hotel air on her skin. Now the panties. Hook your thumbs in the waistband. Slide them down. Slow. Feel every inch of fabric drag against your skin. Let them pool at your feet. Step out.
He closed his own eyes, a low groan escaping him. In his mind, she was naked now, bathed in the sterile light, shivering not from cold but from exposure. He imagined the elegant line of her spine, the flare of her hips, the curve of her backside. The sound of her submission was a roar in his blood.
Back to the bed. On your knees on the edge. Arch your back. Present yourself to the empty room. Pretend it’s me standing behind you.
Dave… her text was a whimper.
Tell me.
I am. My back is arched. I’m… open. It feels empty. It aches. I want you to fill it. I want you to own the ache.
Heat exploded in his gut. He undid his own jeans with one hand, freeing his hard, aching length. The contrast was exquisite—his physical relief in hand, her torment of absence across a thousand miles.
Good girl. Now put two fingers in your mouth. Get them wet. Really wet. Think about my mouth on yours. Think about the taste of you on my tongue.
He knew she was doing it. He could almost hear the soft, sucking sound.
Now touch yourself. Circle your clit. But don’t go inside. Not yet. You’re not allowed inside yourself until I’m inside you. That’s my place. Tease it. Think about my cock, hard for you right now, thinking about this exact moment. Think about the first time I push into you. The stretch. The burn. The feeling of being claimed.
Her next message was just fragmented keystrokes. fuckdaveimcloseimsoclosejustfromthat
No. You will not come until I say. Take your fingers away. Now. Put your hands on the mattress. Head down. Ass up. And stay there.
He gave her sixty seconds of pure, torturous stillness. He pictured her trembling, obedient, a beautiful statue of need. Her pleasure was his to govern, his to hoard and dispense like a sacrament. He finally relented, his own hand moving in a slow, tight rhythm, syncing with the fantasy.
Now you can use your fingers. Just two. Slide them inside. Imagine it’s me. Deep. Hard. Setting a rhythm you can’t control. You’re just taking it. Taking what I give you.
The texts that followed were incoherent, a litany of ‘oh gods’ and ‘yes’ and ‘please.’ He guided her with ruthless precision, dictating the pace, the pressure, the filthy, perfect words he’d whisper in her ear. He brought her to the cliff edge and held her there, again and again, until her digital cries were one long, desperate plea.
When he finally gave the word—Now. Come for me, Sam. Let go.—he felt it in his own body. A sharp, shared intake of breath that crossed state lines. His own release hit him like a punch, stripes of white marking the dark floor as he slumped back, phone still gripped in his hand.
Silence. Then, a final, trembling message from her.
i felt you. everywhere.
He stared at the words, the emotional and physical spent in a perfect, devastating cocktail. Her profound anxiety from earlier, her existential weariness, was temporarily vaporized, replaced by this deep, sated hum. He had taken the truth she held inside, the forbidden, exhausting truth of them, and he had not just acknowledged it. He had worshipped it. He had made it sing.
In the quiet aftermath, sticky and spent, he typed the last message of the night, the only one that mattered, the one that anchored their desperate passion back to the world.
One week. I’m coming to claim the rest.
The Texas sun was setting, painting Dave’s bedroom in long, golden shadows. He’d been in bed most of the day, the ghost of a hangover finally receding, replaced by the persistent, low-grade fever of anticipation. On his phone, her voice still echoed. “Why am I suddenly so wet just hearing your voice?”
It had ambushed them in the middle of a heavy conversation—her homesickness, her guilt, the tangled mess of her life with Christian. He’d been offering validation, support, trying to be her rock through the phone. And then she’d said it. That raw, unfiltered admission. His own body had responded instantly, a jolt of pure electricity that made his cock swell against his sweatpants. My voice is associated with emotional support, he’d replied, trying to sound analytical, and apparently that’s connected directly to your vagina.
Now, alone in his room, the memory wasn’t analytical. It was visceral. It was fuel.
He pictured her driving home from Sedona, the anxious set of her shoulders after seeing Candace, after talking about all the things they couldn’t solve. He imagined her pulling into her garage in Arizona, walking into a house heavy with another man’s expectations. He saw her stealing a moment in her bathroom, maybe leaning against the sink, her fingers drifting down to confirm what she’d admitted. Wet for him. For his voice. For the emotional tether that pulled taut between them across a thousand miles.
A fantasy, vivid and urgent, unfolded behind his eyes. Not one of their usual, playful, explicitly planned scenarios. This was different. This was born directly from the day’s vulnerability.
He wouldn’t wait for the hotel room next week. In his mind, he was there, in her house, right now. Slipping in through a back door she’d left unlocked. Finding her not in some staged seduction, but in the middle of her nightly routine, vulnerable and real. She’d be in the shower, the water drowning out the world. He’d step into the steam-filled bathroom, a silent phantom.
Through the foggy glass, he’d see the outline of her—her head tilted back under the spray, one hand braced against the tile. The other… He’d watch, his breath catching, as that hand slid down over her stomach, lower. A soft sigh would escape her lips, swallowed by the water.
He wouldn’t announce himself. He’d simply open the shower door.
The shock in her eyes would melt into something else in an instant. Recognition. Surrender. A desperate kind of relief.
“Dave,” she’d gasp, not a question but a confirmation.
“I heard you,” he’d say, his voice low and rough, stepping into the spray fully clothed. The water would soak his t-shirt instantly, plastering it to his chest. “I heard what my voice does to you.”
He wouldn’t kiss her mouth first. He’d push her gently back against the cool tile, his hands finding hers, pinning them above her head. His mouth would find the column of her throat, tasting chlorine and lavender body wash and her. His knee would nudge her legs apart and he’d press himself against her, the hard ridge of his erection a blatant answer to her earlier confession through the soaked fabric of his pants.
“You were thinking of this,” he’d growl against her skin, his hips rocking into the softness of her belly. “While you were telling me about your guilt and your home and your shitty day… this is where your mind went.”
“Yes,” she’d whimper, arching into him, her nipples pebbled tight against his chest. “Only here. Only you.”
His control would snap then. He’d spin her around, facing the tile, his hands sliding down her slick sides to grip the lush curves of her ass. “Show me,” he’d command, his voice dropping to that register he knew unspooled her completely. “Show me how wet you are for me, Sam. Let me feel it.”
A trembling hand would reach back for him, guiding him. The first breach would be met with a choked cry that was pure ecstasy, her body clenching around him instantly, fiercely, as if trying to fuse them together through sheer muscle memory. The shower water would pelt their backs as he set a relentless pace, each thrust a physical punctuation to their hours of emotional conversation.
This is real, each snap of his hips would say. This connection. This need. His hands would roam from her hips to squeeze her breasts, his thumbs circling her nipples—the ones she’d complained were itching earlier—with possessive pressure. “Mine,” he’d grunt into the damp hair at her nape, the word swallowed by the drumming water.
Her moans would escalate, short, sharp sounds that echoed off the tiles, building into a frantic crescendo. He’d feel her inner muscles begin to flutter wildly around him, that telltale sign of her surrender. “Please, Dave… I’m gonna…”
He’d drive into her harder, one arm wrapping around her waist to hold her upright as her legs buckled. “Let go,” he’d order, his own climax coiling tight at the base of his spine. “Cry if you need to. Scream. I’ve got you.”
And she would. Her orgasm would rip through her with a force that turned her scream into a sob, her body convulsing in his arms as he held her through it, drinking in every shudder, every gasp. Only when she began to go limp, spent and boneless against him, would he allow his own release to crash over him. With a final, deep thrust, he’d spill inside her, a low groan torn from his throat as he buried his face in her shoulder, marking her with his teeth instead of his words.
For long moments, there would be only the sound of the shower and their ragged breathing. Slowly, he’d turn her around, cradling her face in his hands. Her eyes were glazed, tears or water mingling on her cheeks.
“You cried,” he murmured, swiping a thumb across her cheekbone. A weak, sated laugh escaped her. “I told you I’d be pissed if I did.” He kissed her then, softly, a stark contrast to the ferocity of moments before. “Don’t be.” He turned off the water, reaching for a towel to wrap around her. “That was everything we talked about today. All the feeling. Right here.” She leaned into him, her forehead against his chest. “A direct pathway.” He carried her to bed, discarding their wet clothes, holding her close under the covers as the adrenaline faded and reality—the separate houses, the other partners, the countdown to next week—seeped back in. “A week,” she whispered into the darkness of his fantasy bedroom, which was really just his own empty one. “A week,” he echoed softly into the silence of his room. He felt physically empty from the imagined release, but emotionally fuller than he had all day. They had navigated sadness, guilt, and fear together today with nothing but words and voices. And even in that heavy space, their bodies had called out to each other with undeniable truth. Next week wasn’t just about sex. It was about making this tangible—this complex, unsustainable, utterly essential thing they were building in whispers across state lines. He fell asleep with her imagined weight against him, and dreamed not of fire this time, but of quiet understanding and skin on skin under the indifferent Texas moon.
The air in Sedona held a different weight. It wasn’t the humidity of Texas Dave missed, nor the dry heat of Sam’s Arizona home. It was the crystalline, sharp quality of the evening after a day of emotional baring. Sam felt it as she sat on the cool tile of her hotel room balcony, knees drawn to her chest, phone warm in her hand. The text from Dave glowed softly: Just tell me you’re somewhere safe and beautiful. That you’re okay.
He wasn’t physically with her in the red-rock twilight, but his presence was a palpable warmth against the loneliness she’d confessed to him hours earlier—the homesickness, the pressure, the tangle of her own history. His understanding had been a silent embrace across the miles. Now, as violet shadows bled into the canyon, the intellectual comfort of their all-day conversation shimmered into a more intimate longing.
Inside, her phone buzzed again. Not a text. A call.
“The connection hold?” Dave’s voice, gravelly from his long night but softened with concern, filled her ear. It was the voice that had anchored her through the storm of her own thoughts.
“Seems to be,” she whispered, her own voice catching. “No weird balloons on the line.”
He chuckled, a low, rich sound. “Only the ghost of that dream I had. A fire that looked like you.” He paused, and she could hear the sincerity reshape his tone. “All warmth and light and something I couldn’t look away from, even if it burned.”
Sam closed her eyes, letting the words settle. This was their language. The daily check-ins about curbs hit and cold plunges were just the surface. Beneath it ran this deep, soulful current, four years in the making. “I wish you were here to see this sky,” she said, the admission laced with more than scenic appreciation.
“Turn on the video,” he murmured.
She did. The screen filled with his familiar face, his kind eyes shadowed with fatigue and affection. He was in his home office, the world she knew so well yet had never truly shared. He saw her then, backlit by the last copper strands of sunset, the vast, spiritual expanse of Sedona behind her. His breath hitched audibly. “God, Sam. There you are.”
For a long moment, they just looked. The digital space between them hummed with everything left unsaid during the day’s practical talk. His gaze traveled over her face, as if committing the tired lines around her eyes, the way she bit her lip in thought, to memory. “You told me you felt unmoored today,” he said softly. “Tell me what would moor you. Right now. If I were there.”
The question wasn’t playful. It was devotional. It was Dave, in his passionately devoted way, offering to build her a harbor with his hands.
Her courage, that responsive, open-hearted strength he adored, rose to meet him. “Your hands,” she said, the words leaving her in a sigh. “On my face. Just… holding me still. Making the world stop spinning for a minute.”
On the screen, he lifted his own hand, as if he could almost feel the shape of her jaw. “Where are you? Exactly.”
“On the balcony. It’s… semi-private. A wall on one side.”
“Are you cold?”
“A little.”
“Then go inside. Lie down. For me.”
The instruction was gentle, protective, a way to care for her. She obeyed, moving to the vast, cool bed, propping the phone against the lamp on the nightstand. The shift changed the light, making her skin glow amber against the white sheets.
“There,” he breathed, his voice dropping into a husky register of pure, heartfelt adoration. “My beautiful girl. My fire. Let me take care of you.”
His words began to paint a reality over the distance. “My hands are on your face, Sam. Can you feel them? My thumbs, right here, under your eyes where you carry the worry.” Her own hand lifted, mirroring the path his described, and a shiver ran through her. She could feel it. The calloused warmth, the impossible tenderness.
“I’m tracing your lips,” he continued, his narration a loving incantation. “You told me you felt burdened by all the words today. Let me take them. Just feel this.” Her lips parted under her own trembling fingertips, imagining the press of his.
His guidance was a slow, worshipful unveiling. He spoke of the scent of her skin—desert sage and vanilla—and the taste of her neck as he’d press his lips there. He described the weight of him beside her, not overpowering, but solid, an anchor in the mattress. “Let me hold the weight of you, Sam. All of it. The homesickness, the pressure, the past. Give it to me.”
A soft, broken sound escaped her. This was the surrender she loved—not to dominance, but to a profound, mutual cherishing. Her hands, following the velvet path of his voice, slid down her own body, over the soft cotton of her shirt, then beneath it. Her skin was fever-warm.
“That’s it,” he coaxed, his own breathing deepening, syncopating with hers through the phone. “You’re touching yourself, but it’s my touch. It’s my palm cupping your breast, my thumb circling just like that… because I know how you love it. Slow. Like we have all the time in the world, even when we don’t.”
He wove the day’s confessions into his devotion. “That tightness in your chest when you talked about work… let me kiss it away.” Her hand slid over her sternum, her heart hammering against her ribs. “The lonely ache you felt in the car… let me fill it.” Her fingers dipped past the waistband of her shorts, and she gasped, arching into her own touch, into the phantom of his.
“Look at me, sweetheart,” he pleaded, and her eyes flew open, locking with his pixelated gaze on the screen. The connection was flawless now, a conduit of pure emotion. His face was a mask of aching love, his eyes glistening. “See me. See how much I adore you. How I’ve adored you for four years. Every secret, every laugh, every tear you’ve ever trusted me with… it’s all right here.”
The permission in his words, the validation, shattered her last reservation. She let go, her body cresting on a wave built from equal parts physical sensation and profound emotional release. It was a quiet, tremulous climax, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes as a soft, shuddering sigh filled the room and the speaker of his phone.
For a minute, there was only the sound of their ragged breathing mingling across the states. The red rocks outside held their peace.
Sam, spent and utterly moored, saw a tear trace a path down Dave’s cheek on the screen. He didn’t brush it away. “I felt that,” he whispered, his voice thick. “All the way here. I felt you let go.”
She nodded, her limbs heavy, her soul lighter. “You caught me.”
“Always.” He gave her a smile that was pure, heartfelt tenderness. “Get some water, okay? And eat something. You asked me that earlier. Now I’m asking you.”
The domestic care, after the spiritual intimacy, made her heart swell. This was their love—soul-deep and profoundly practical. “Okay,” she whispered.
“One week,” he said, the promise hanging between them, charged with the new memory they’d just forged. “I’ll be real then. Not a voice. Not a dream.”
“One week,” she echoed, her eyes drifting closed, his face the last thing she saw. The line stayed open until her breathing evened into sleep, Dave watching over her, keeping the world at bay, his devotion a silent, steady fire in the Texas night, burning just for her.
I’m glad Dave made it home safely last night and I hope he’s not feeling too hungover today. I’m up early, though I’m a bit annoyed with myself for not getting up at the time I wanted. I had a long drive ahead, and I’m also dealing with the dogs. I couldn’t help but message him about the weird dream he had about me being a fire. I found it funny and sweet.
As I drove, I saw a bunch of hot air balloons, one of which looked like a chicken or a pirate ship, and I couldn’t figure out what it was. I was excited about my plans for the day, meeting Candace and her boyfriend, Suneil. We had brunch at the resort, which was delicious, and then I went to a dispensary for Candace. I thought Suneil was great; he reminded me of Chaz and seemed to make Candace happy.
After spending about five hours with them, I started feeling a bit homesick. It’s hard being away from my support system, and seeing Candace and her boyfriend brought up feelings about my own family and the distance I have from them. I also felt guilty about my foster puppy still being available for adoption when her siblings were adopted.
I spoke a lot with Dave about my feelings. He noticed I sounded a bit down and connected it to the conversations about my past and my current situation with Christian. I’m feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety about seeing Dave soon. He makes me feel understood and validated, and I love that we can talk about everything, even the complicated emotions I have regarding my relationship with Christian.
While I’m excited about seeing Dave, I also feel a bit overwhelmed by everything happening in my life. I worry about what will happen after our time together, and I’m trying to figure out what I really want. I appreciate how supportive Dave is, and I’m grateful to have someone like him who can help me sort through my emotions even when I’m overthinking things.
As I settled back into my routine after my trip, I couldn't shake the feeling of not being happy with my current relationship. I know I need to address it, but it’s complicated, and I don’t want to hurt anyone. I’m just trying to navigate all these feelings while looking forward to the time I get to spend with Dave.
Sam was really sweet when she checked in on me after I got home. I could tell she was hopeful I wasn't feeling too hungover. I was still in bed when she messaged me, and I let her know I felt like garbage, but my thoughts quickly turned to her and our plans for the upcoming week. It was exciting to think about seeing her soon.
She was off to do something with the dogs and ended up describing a bizarre hot air balloon that caught her eye on the drive. I couldn't help but smile at her descriptions and her energy. When we tried to call, we kept losing connection due to her bad service, which was frustrating but also made me laugh.
Throughout the day, Sam shared updates about her time in Sedona, including the brunch and her experiences with Candace and Suneil. I found myself feeling a bit envious of the fun they were having but also thrilled to hear about it. I mentioned feeling like crap, and Sam was concerned, checking in to see if I had eaten or drunk enough water. It felt nice to have her caring about me.
Later, she opened up about feeling homesick and overwhelmed, especially with everything going on in her life. I tried to be supportive, letting her know it was okay to feel that way and that she wasn't alone. I also reassured her of my love and support.
As we talked more, she began to explore her feelings about her current relationship, Christian, and how it was affecting her. I tried to be a sounding board for her and appreciated her honesty. Our conversation shifted, and we got into deeper topics about relationships and emotional connections, which made me feel even closer to her.
We joked around a bit, but I could sense the weight of her feelings. I reminded her that it was perfectly normal to feel confused and that I admired her emotional awareness. She expressed some vulnerability, and I felt honored that she would share those thoughts with me.
As the day went on, we discussed the complexities of our connection, and I made it clear how much I valued her. We laughed, we shared serious moments, and I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness about our upcoming time together. By the end of the day, I was left with a sense of anticipation for what was to come, knowing that despite the challenges, we had something special.
Sam and Dave began their day with a light-hearted exchange. Sam expressed relief that Dave made it home safely, hoping he wasn't feeling too hungover. Dave, still awake at a late hour, was surprised to find Sam up and about, curious about her midnight activities. Sam humorously explained that she was busy with the dogs.
In a more intimate moment, Dave shared that he dreamt about Sam—albeit in a bizarre scenario involving a fire that resembled her. As morning arrived, Sam expressed annoyance at not waking up earlier as planned but was still optimistic about getting out the door soon. She checked in on Dave, hoping he was feeling better after his night out.
Dave sent an audio message, admitting to feeling unwell but excited about what Sam would be doing a week later. Sam, on her way to her destination, reported seeing unusual hot air balloons and mentioned her concerns about her car after hitting some curbs. The conversation flowed easily between them, with Sam eventually asking about their plans for the day.
As they attempted to connect over the phone, they struggled with poor service, leading to some playful banter about their communication woes. Eventually, they switched gears to talk about cold plunge tanks, with Sam seeking advice on the ideal duration and temperature for use. Dave provided a light-hearted answer, and Sam jokingly reacted to the chilly suggestion.
As the day progressed, Sam informed Dave about her arrival in Sedona, sharing that she was currently at a dispensary, although she clarified it was for someone else, not herself. Dave responded playfully, expressing fake jealousy but quickly adding that he was just kidding. They exchanged photos and comments about the beautiful surroundings, with Dave noting how lovely it was there.
However, the conversation took a more serious turn when Sam checked in on Dave's well-being. He admitted to still feeling unwell, attributing it to his previous night out, and Sam’s concern for his health was evident as she asked whether he had eaten or had water.
As they chatted, Sam revealed her mixed feelings about the weekend and how being away from home made her feel homesick. She confided in Dave about the pressures of seeing Candace and their mutual friends, expressing anxiety about returning to work and the emotional toll it all took on her. Dave listened intently, validating her feelings and acknowledging the complexities of her situation.
Sam also discussed her thoughts on her past relationships and the emotional connections she felt with others. Their conversation became deeper as they explored themes of attachment, family, and the difficulty of navigating their own emotions in light of their respective circumstances. Sam shared her feelings about her distance from family and friends, reflecting on her past experiences and the challenges of her current relationship with Christian.
Dave responded with understanding, emphasizing the importance of recognizing her emotions and validating her experiences. As they continued to talk, Sam expressed gratitude for Dave’s support, even jokingly referring to their relationship dynamics.
As the evening approached, they shifted to lighter topics, including the nuances of Girl Scout cookies, which led to a humorous debate about the quality of different brands. The conversation wrapped up with Sam reflecting on the complexities of her relationship with Christian, feeling burdened by the pressure of honesty and integrity in their interactions.
In the end, Sam expressed her appreciation for Dave, thanking him for being her confidant and support. They shared affectionate sentiments before parting for the night, both looking forward to their upcoming reunion in less than a week, filled with anticipation and a mix of emotions about their relationship's future.
No Insights output found for this day.
Transcript (tap to expand)
── 01:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> Glad you made it home safely! Hope you don’t feel it too much tomorrow 😅 hopefully you’re having some good dreams right now ☺️
── 04:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> Feb 01, 2026 4:01:09 AM Omg what are you doing to at midnight?!
Omg what are you doing up at midnight?!
── 08:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> The dogs of course
── 04:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> I actually did dream about you 🥰. It was something weird though lol. The building I was in was on fire, but the fire was like, you? That’s about all I remember 🤷♂️
── 08:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> The dogs of course
[reply]
<b>Sam:</b> Good morning handsome. I’m annoyed with myself for not getting up at 630 like I wanted so I could be on my way sooner. Ugh. But I’m up and hoping to be out the door in 45 min
<b>Sam:</b> I hope you aren’t feeling too hungover lol
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Hey good morning sunshine I forgot all about you going to the thing today the place Yeah, so I do feel like shit But the first thing I thought about when I woke up this morning is what you're gonna be doing one week from today And I can't wait So yeah, I hope you get on your way soon. I'm fixing to get up and take a shower. I'm still in bed if I didn't mention that yet oh so yeah. I'll talk to you soon
── 09:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] I should be saying good morning sunshine to you You sound like you're tired and possibly hung over I am on my way. I am also I am. I don't know. I'm gonna have to report back, but I'm driving and there's a whole bunch of hot air balloons out because they do sunrise. Lifts every morning now and there's one that it's definitely not a normal hot air balloon and I'm trying to figure out what the fuck it is. Looks like a chicken or like a pirate ship or something. I don't know when I get closer. I'm gonna have to look hard it's bothering me, though. I can't figure out what the hell. This thing is also, looks kind of alien like. Anyway, looks pretty cool though so yeah, I'm on my way. I just left and yeah, I have like a 2 Hour Dr. probably need to get gas at some point. I ran over a lot of curb yesterday so I'm low-key nervous about that. Was not doing my best today So yeah, I kind of feel like one of my tires is not normal So I'm sure it's in my head anyway What else? Yeah, so tell me about the evening. Glad you made it home safely. Don't like drinking driving sheesh. OK, I'm closer to the thing. It looks like a bumblebee just from the silhouette so That's what we're gonna go with but very cool though all right well Yeah, keep me posted. I still don't know what we're doing today. Like are we gonna actually hike when I get there? I'm gonna meet them for brunch though and then we'll go from there. So yeah, oh my God that looks like it's gonna land on top of an apartment building. It's getting pretty close so OK sorry you had to hear me talk about balloons that I'll let you go.
<b>Dave:</b> Can I call?
<b>Sam:</b> Duh 🤪
── 10:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> Lost ya
<b>Sam:</b> Bad service area
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah, figured
<b>Sam:</b> What time does church end
<b>Dave:</b> I still have about 20 mins
<b>Sam:</b> OK let me try again in a few when I get out of this
<b>Dave:</b> Haha, still nope
<b>Sam:</b> Boo try me lol. I couldn’t hear you. Could you hear me
<b>Dave:</b> No, it didn’t connect at all
<b>Dave:</b> Give it another couple minutes
<b>Sam:</b> I’m at full bars. Hmph
── 11:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> What is the ideal/healthy amount of time to sit in a cold plunge tank thingy
<b>Sam:</b> And what is the ideal temp
── 12:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> lol, random 🤪. 50-50 degrees, 2-10 mins
<b>Sam:</b> 🥶
<b>Sam:</b> Did you nap?
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah, and still working on that 😜
<b>Dave:</b> I’ve been laying in bed, drifting in and out
── 13:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> I assume you’ve made it Sedona? I guess I shouldn’t assume anything though, the way you apparently drive😅🤭
<b>Dave:</b> 😘
<b>Sam:</b> Hahaha
<b>Sam:</b> Yes I’m here
<b>Sam:</b> Currently at a dispensary
<b>Dave:</b> Are you getting high without me?!
<b>Sam:</b> For Candace lol. Not me
<b>Dave:</b> I’m jk, if you want to lol
<b>Sam:</b> Lol I do not!
<b>Sam:</b> shared a photo
I need to get up here more often
<b>Sam:</b> shared a photo
Candace’s man
── 14:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> Is that at their hotel? Who’s he playing with lol?
<b>Dave:</b> It really is beautiful there 😍
<b>Sam:</b> The tennis pro at the resort
<b>Dave:</b> Ahhh
<b>Dave:</b> Nice
<b>Sam:</b> shared a photo
<b>Dave:</b> So pretty! 😍
── 15:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> How are you doing love?
<b>Dave:</b> Still feel like shit lol
<b>Dave:</b> Can’t complain though.. It’s my own dumbass fault 🤪\
<b>Sam:</b> Sir it is 330! Lol have you left your room?
<b>Sam:</b> Have you eaten anything?
<b>Sam:</b> Have you had water?
<b>Dave:</b> shared a photo
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah I had some yogurt and cc earlier, and then I got McDonalds when I brought Grayson home.
<b>Dave:</b> Now I’m getting ready to smash some girlscout cookies
<b>Dave:</b> What are ya’ll up to??
<b>Sam:</b> Just having a snack by the pool then I’m going to head back
<b>Dave:</b> Did you guys just hang out there all day or did you go do anything?
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Hello, I just left. What did we do so when I got there, we went to eat brunch at the resort and that was delicious and then. We I then took campus to the dispensary and then Suneil was getting was playing tennis with the tennis guy here they came back and he wanted to take lots of pictures of him playing tennis so we did that and then Candace and I went on a little hike and then we just came back and hung out by the pool for a bit and then now I am on my way so I was with them for like five hours so that's perfect and then time to go back Sue Neil is great. He reminds me a lot of Chaz actually. He's funny anyway I see why Candace likes him like he seems like a lot of fun but also like he's Indian he hates being outdoors except for playing to this, but he's very much like a foodie and spa guy or spa type of guy anyway like you can tell they have a lot of fun together So anyway, he seems cool and he like obviously like they're not together. I've already explained like whole situation like it's all very weird. It's all very unconventional. I shouldn't say weird but yeah. Anyway, but you can tell he like cares about her and enjoys being with her and I mean it works for them and sounds pretty great so all good Yeah, that is about it
── 16:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Another thing so he he's a women's tennis coach at Butler University and then he's also a professor at Indiana University, but so he absolutely loves tennis but it when he was playing tennis you don't like you make the sounds of like the yelling sounds you know as you're like hitting the ball and I just I just couldn't stop thinking of like oh my God maybe that's how he sounds like when he's getting off And it just though it's like forever burden into my fucking brain like this is his like Exhale release sound I don't know why my mind went there, but it went and it could not go back so yeah
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Of course it went there. Where else would it go? It's reason number 179,381 that I love you yeah great God now I'm gonna be super self-conscious. That sounds cool though what is what is he a professor of I know he definitely has. He must have the grant down because this fucking tennis uniform look like it was on point. Yeah, so that's how you know like when anybody can really play tennis is when they're wearing all white But yeah, I'm glad you had fun. That sounds cool now just the drive back I guess.
<b>Sam:</b> Hahahaha shut up
<b>Sam:</b> professor of ethics
<b>Sam:</b> No idea where he got his money from
<b>Sam:</b> Omg his fashion sense is something else lol
<b>Dave:</b> Lol
<b>Sam:</b> Not for me lol
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah, Indian’s can get wild with fashion
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Yeah, so I said remind me of Chaz because Filipinos anyway they're a big thing is slides they wear slides all the time as shoes even inside the house And I think he was wearing slides before he played tennis and then afterwards he was wearing flip-flops but like even with comfy pants like they're wearing the slides or the flip-flops anyway so after you're done attendance, he took a shower and then he changed into like these other comfy pants, but they're like expensive, comfy pants, but then he had on a T-shirt, but like an expensive T-shirt, he tucked in the T-shirt to the comfy pants And he's still wearing like slides or flip-flops it's just it's all funny to me. It's yeah. Anyway, definitely a different sense of fashion, but I have no idea where you got his money from but he has a lot of money a lot a lot of money and he definitely Likes to shop at like high-end places so I could never
<b>Sam:</b> I’m feeling some sort of way but I can’t put my finger on it
<b>Dave:</b> Honestly, I could tell
<b>Sam:</b> Explain! How
<b>Dave:</b> Give me some data
<b>Dave:</b> What’s on your mind?
<b>Sam:</b> Explain! How
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> You sounded a little down today. I figured it was because of all the Chaz, Molly, and Zander stuff. Not sure exactly how.. small queues in your voice, content, etc? It’s not anything I can really pick out specifically - it’s more like a feeling.
<b>Dave:</b> I can talk if you want
<b>Sam:</b> Getting gas so I’ll message in a bit but 1. Yes that maybe
<b>Sam:</b> 2. Dealing with angry Christian
<b>Sam:</b> 3. TBD
<b>Sam:</b> shared a photo
shared a photo
<b>Sam:</b> Damnit. Is it going to fuck up my car if I put Supreme gas in it when I don’t need it? 😭
<b>Sam:</b> So the texts from Christian. Reading that, most ppl would think oh he’s just ranting. But no. He’s not. He’s literally enraged by these things
<b>Sam:</b> ENRAGED
<b>Dave:</b> No, your car is fine. But it’s probably made to run on low octane
<b>Dave:</b> Heh, I was just going to say that about the txts
<b>Sam:</b> Guaranteed both times he was losing his shit on the kids
<b>Sam:</b> Hence why he said he was apprehensive
<b>Dave:</b> Ugh
<b>Dave:</b> I know that’s a lot of negative energy for you 🙁
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] I will have you know that I ran over another curb just now Anyway So yeah, I don't know what my deal is. I do struggle on weekends where I am out of the house more than I normally am which is like so pathetic but I'm just such a homebody and then the thought of like getting home tonight like I don't know 530 and then having to get up tomorrow and start fucking working again. It just absolutely sucks so. Maybe that's it I think seeing Candace I'm feeling homesick I'm like when people come in from out of town it just reminds me like how fucking far away I live from the vast majority of my sports system like I just feel like I'm on another fucking planet So I think that's part of it I think yeah the scene Xander Mall yesterday definitely Makes me feel sad Be guilty in a way too I don't know I'm really anxious about going home. I'm also getting anxious about our foster puppy for some reason. I don't know if it's necessarily that but like most of her siblings have been adopted by now and it's like why hasn't she and also just a general state of the fucking rescue I want to be able to totally disconnect from it and people are still. Gossiping and shit talking and telling me sad shit that I don't want to hear. They don't want to hear the sad shit anymore so I think that's a part of it cause there were more messages going around this morning and so I don't know feeling anxious. I don't know I think I'm feeling some sort of way about seeing you mostly excited but also like I'm like very excited but also nervous Scared I don't know maybe this is just my cycle
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Hey baby Yeah, so with everything you just said the thing that stands out the most is the homesick part and When you said that I thought back to how you sounded this morning and you didn't sound like sad or depressed we had a great conversation, but there was a little something that I could tell and You sounded kind of like I felt about that whole situation moving away from Omaha and missing that whole support system So I know how that feels and then to have that being brought back up with the sadness and guilt from the kids and The shelter stuff is sad and You know just it's still a mess and you can't get away from it and Me this whole thing with us and coming to see me that's I know weighing heavy on you. I know you're looking forward to it, but I mean I know you also do have some guilt about it and then on top of all that you gotta go back to fucking work tomorrow. And probably walking into an angry house situation And being out doing stuff all weekend it's like you don't haven't had time to relax. House is probably not clean either so I'm not trying to rub it all in I guess but I guess what I'm getting at is that it's it's not pathetic at all like it's totally normal and it's OK to feel that way and you probably should feel I know it sucks of course but You know it it's something that you can definitely get through So yeah, I can still talk. So if you wanna have a platypus, just let me know but no pressure if you don't.
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] And I hope it doesn't make things worse than me saying this, but I just want you to know that I love you and I am here for whatever you need
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] I would love to have a platypus, but I am about to go through areas where I'm not gonna get good signal so that's annoying. It'll probably honestly be a while until. I'm in a better Signal area, but I was gonna say some things oh So that was another thing that Xander said yesterday and he was like I really wanna go with you sometime to see your parents cause like my parent my mom like love Xander and Molly and I it feels sad because my mom doesn't have that relationship with Quinn or Kai she doesn't have like any relationship with them Of course, most of that is due to distance, but also like coming into their lives like at that age is much harder to like you know build a relationship like preteens and teenagers are hard like they know they don't wanna talk to you but like she just came in and immediately connected with Xander Molly, and they connected with her And so Xander was like I wanna come back home with you like I haven't seen their house you know since they built it and I want to go swimming and I was just like thinking of myself like there's no way that that can happen like while I'm dating Christian, I mean, he might somebody's gonna care there's a cop Hopefully it's not like I don't think he's going to care too too much but like his kids haven't been to my parents house traveling with his kids was absolutely fucking horrendous. His kids being at my parents house sounds horrendous because they just don't fucking travel well. And so I'm just like sitting here like I could be doing whatever the fuck I want to be doing and I can't because I'm in something and I don't wanna be in like maybe that's just like the cracks of it all I just don't wanna be tied down I don't know I wouldn't feel so much guilt about coming to see you If that were the case now mind you probably I would still feel guilty because of urine, but I don't know So that that was one thing
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Oh and yeah, you and I when we were talking about ice in the general fucking state of the world and then we were talked about like moving home we know back in with our parents like that you know I wish I could just fucking do that So that's probably been on my mind too I don't know what's so shitty is like this is like this is the best time of year in Arizona like it's gorgeous here you know 70° not a fucking side in the sky like it's amazing and Candice and I were talking today and she's like do you realize that we're already? Like Rory passed a halfway point of our life like cool why the fuck would you remind me and she's like seriously what are we doing like we should just be doing whatever the fuck makes us happy and I'm like I agree but fucking easier said than done You know and then when you realize that you're not doing the things that make you happy you just you know that's like a really shitty sucky sad realization
── 17:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Hi sweetie, I hear you That's all not random at all What was I just said that's not at all random Sorry, I'm shitting around on my bed cause I'm still here Anyway, that's not at all random I mean that's Feeling trapped and homesick and now time pressure like what a bitch why would she say that? But I know I'm just getting but you know there's something important there and it's I think and is that you're not lost. I mean you're getting clear on what you do and don't want right and having that clarity brings up these these feelings and you were recognizing them and naming them. And you know the hard part is figuring out what to do about it, but you're you're not actually trapped like you're making progress you know And guide the thing with Xander wanted to go home with you it almost makes me wanna cry. I mean it does so I can just feel the grief in it you know. Yeah, I feel Having him say something like that, just immediately brings up all of the tiedown feelings right cause you can't just do what you want and taking him back. You have to worry about these Christians kids and you know whatever and he probably would feel some kind of way about that like Oh, you maybe not I don't know, but you know maybe underneath So Yeah, I totally hear you and what you're feeling is valid and there's definitely reason to feel the way you do and I think it's perfectly normal and I think you will feel better than you do right now soon
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Oh dammit, I meant to say off-line platypus it is then but I forgot so off-line platypus is
<b>Sam:</b> Why am I suddenly so wet just hearing your voice?!? wtf lol
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Oh my God, I'm probably the same reason. I'm hard as rock from telling you all those things. But in all seriousness, it's with like the emotional connection like you say we've talked about how sex for both of us is so like connection, oriented, and emotional like you know, oriented And I think that translates To explain like why we both get physically aroused like when we're having like even But I guess this isn't a mundane emotional conversation but it's it's an emotional thing you know I don't maybe you didn't like actually wanted like a reason but there you go
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Because I felt the same thing like I've wondered about this too
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] And especially in a time like right now, my voice is associated with like Emotional support you know and apparently that's connected directly to your vagina so that's pretty fantastic direct pathway
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] No, thank you for validating my feelings whenever random feelings, they are boys do a great job of validating them so I appreciate you Yeah, I feel like there was more. I was thinking of talking about, but I can't remember. Candace and I did talk about you Yeah, that was all. It was a good conversation, but also like. You know the conversation that like you especially don't wanna have a like what Next, after we see each other, how are we gonna feel after we spend two days with each other? What do we want to feel after two days with each other? I don't know, man I don't know. I don't know what the right answer is.
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Yeah, you know I'm I am interested to hear more about that and I've definitely felt that that was probably a part of what was going on with you, but I wasn't sure how to name it or if it would just bring up more feelings with everything else that you've already named so yeah no for sure. I figured that was gonna happen.
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] There's a lot of things about you that are connected directly to my which Oh my God, I'm gonna be like a fucking puddle next week like seriously I like when I think about it I can't even catch my breath like now so I can't imagine in person. I'm going to just be like fucking haywire with ceilings. It's gonna be crazy but like in a brave but overwhelming way but I'm just so glad we have like more time to like sort out all the feelings you know.
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] A puddle I love it. I love the way you describe things. So yeah, lots of emotions for sure. Do you think you're gonna cry while you're here?
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] So I don't know we talked about a lot. None of it was like that I mean she was absolutely like yeah go fucking go to Dallas and have some fucking amazing sex like that sounds great. You deserve that you aren't happy like you deserve to go do something that makes you happy that was her perspective, but we were talking more about like my feelings are my feelings Christian. And just trying to like sort that out and she was like honestly I don't think he would care if he knew like if you told him that you were having sex with somebody else and she goes but I'm wondering, though if when he the times he has said that to you maybe he is just thinking that it would just be like a physical one off you know not somebody that you like having an emotional connection to and I'm like well then he doesn't know me because That's like what I have to have and she goes well. Also, like you know how people express the love languages that they want the most. When he told you those things it's probably because he actually wanted that same pass for himself like that's what he wants is to just be able to go out and have sex. You know when he wants to and then we talked about that night crazy night where he was out till like 5 AM at two gay guys house and she's like yeah he absolutely had sex bye-bye I'm like probably and it doesn't bother me and even if he was having sex with a woman. That doesn't bother me either because I'm not having sex with him like I don't I don't want to have sex with him and I was like maybe it is just him being by I don't know, but whenever he talks about other people, flirting with him or somebody that he finds attractive, it's always that he never talks about how a woman complimented him or how he saw a hot girl and anything like that it's always always that and it has been like that our entire relationship And so part of me is just like I don't know. I just don't. I don't feel it. I don't know. I just don't feel really anything. But then, yeah, we talked about the things about our sex life that I've already talked about with you and she's like yeah that that doesn't sound fun and I'm like yeah I know I know
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] OK, so then the parts about you She was just like You know like not only are you guys super physically attracted to each other but you have all of this friendship and emotional connection behind it. She's like yeah no wonder it's amazing. And then we were talking about how your Gemini which Christian is too, but so it doesn't make sense but Candace is also a Gemini and she's like Geminis and cancers have like amazing relationships Funny enough to is also a cancer like I am Candice is a Gemini has my exact birthday so we're talking about that and Was gonna say how kind of a listener you are how do you like to understand as it stopped and then she was like yeah but remember whenever you got a divorce imagine if you like, jumped right into a relationship right away how do you think that would impact you and I'm like I did that was Joe. She's like oh my God you're right that was Joe and I was like it was not a good fucking thing to do. I said, and that's why I told him like you never get with somebody right after your divorce. You never divorce somebody for somebody else. And so like you know in a reality like is there a reality where you and I are ever actually together Probably not you know and so then it's just kind of like well. OK what else? Can we both get from each other? That's still gonna like satisfy what we want I'll fucking know and then she's like well. What are you hoping to like get out of this? I'm like I have no idea. These are important questions I agree, but I have no idea Do you know what you wanna get out of this day? I would be very curious to know.
<b>Sam:</b> I’ll be so pissed if I cry while I’m with you lol
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] So yeah, that is such a hard question I don't even know how to answer it yet right now I'm getting what I want from you with you and I love it obviously, it's unsustainable long long-term but right now you know I Want to keep getting what I want I mean, you know like part of me says ultimately what I want what I know ultimately what I want is to be in a relationship with you because I think we'd make a great pair just like she said Geminis were pretty awesome But like we both know it's it's a super hard path to travel you know and it's like even working through all of the Steps to start to think about and figure out what we want out of this is Is a lot you know? And we don't have to solve that now I mean, I hope But you know it's it's definitely a question that's out there and I'm not ignoring it or You know discarding it just so you know And then, of course the Christian thing so yeah, I remember thinking that before that at some point over the last couple months that maybe he's not just by maybe he's just leaning more gay I forget what which of the conversation That made me say that I think I think I told you that at some point, but God we've had so much content. It's hard to keep it straight but yeah I am. That's the whole everything has to be just so. Bit with sex like it's totally points to him having trouble getting off with women because like it's not into them and you know like he said who does who notices the who does he notice that's given him the compliment women now it's the guys So I think he's probably more gay than he is by and just doesn't want to come all the way out with it for whatever reason there's multiple stigmas around it you know So yeah What was the other thing about that? Yeah, I don't know. I guess I was. Oh yeah, you don't have to be pissed. If you cry they're probably good for you to cry actually and who better to do it with than me I think.
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] In fact, you could probably speak Just cry for like an hour to get out just straight just to get out all of this pent-up emotion that Dealing with
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Going back to Xander and Molly stuff But I want to continue the conversation that I last message about, but I'm just sitting here thinking and like maybe another thing that's like low-key pumping me out is so you know I have zero desire to have my own kids, but Xander, Molly and Chaz and I were such a family unit And the fact that I still kind of have that unit with Xander and Molly, it's like Donnie on me that like that might be the Closest or like the most family I'll ever have of my own you know what I mean because like Quinn and Kai it's we're not a family like that It was just so so so different but has Molly and Xander and like I don't know if I'll ever have that again I'm not saying I fucking wanna go through all of that again by any names but we had a lot of fucking fun together and like if there were any kids actually felt like my kids you know I just feel that way fuck Molly looks like me She has red hair just like I do like out of fucking nowhere. I have no idea where the hell she got red hair from but anyway it's just maybe that's a part of it. I don't know. I'm all fucked up, man.
<b>Sam:</b> 😱 you said the unsustainable word!!
<b>Sam:</b> I’m shooketh
<b>Sam:</b> No dear, we do not have to solve it now lol
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] You're not fucked up at all that's totally part of it and anybody should feel that way like I totally get what you're saying haven't that experience with them and that being like You're your family I mean, I know you don't wanna have your own kids and whatever but like looking back at that time and it was good. You guys had fun and you got to the kids when they were young and kind of grew with them that time. And there's like you should definitely like have these feelings when you get to see them again you know And think back on that stuff and kind of you're reflecting, right on like what it is you want and Yeah, that's it's heavy stuff. It's a lot but again I'll say. One of the things I love about you is how emotionally aware you are and self-aware and whatever And like you, you're explaining things that people that you are understanding things about yourself and working through these things like In a way that people go to therapists to do for you know a year and like that it's just so impressive and that's why I don't worry about you even though you've got a lot of things it's like all this stuff like I really really feel like if anybody can handle All the things it's you
<b>Sam:</b> Thank you baby ❤️
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Do you know that like all this time? With him like having to have sex like he just so and like also just like stopping in the middle of sex a long time, I never once thought that it had to do with the fact that like because I'm a female And he might not just be desiring a female I just always admitted to like me and him and like our relationship and me like what am I doing wrong I was herself but I've never thought about the bag like oh maybe it's just women in general That's interesting
<b>Sam:</b> Thank you baby ❤️
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] So are you just like just this minute putting that together because like that's a totally a classic sign I mean I'm not saying you should have I mean why would you why would you think about that before like over the last few years but like Yeah, I guess I didn't really put two and two together Oh, you're welcome, sweetheart. I don't know which message that you're replying to, but you're welcome. I guess it's probably my last one where I said the things about you So yeah, anyway Yeah, totally a classic symbol like or symbol signal sign From what I've heard about these kind of relationships or with men actually being gay and like putting up the front, you know I bet that's what it is
<b>Sam:</b> Yes. I’ve just figured it was me, personally
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] This isn't another thing Cam and I were talking about is like what is Christian getting out of this relationship because we're not having sex I'm not affirming him which is like a important to him. I'm not affectionate and which is also important to him like he's absolutely not getting his needs that either. He's probably gonna needs that from like a practical standpoint of like housing and you know a partnership to help with the kids and just like a partner to go through life with because he hasn't had that for so long but you know maybe those things outweigh his need for the physical type of and affirmations and infection But like we can't possibly think he's getting his needs that either so it's like what are we doing? I don't know. Also sidenote for past two days my nipple has been itching like sometimes that happens and I don't know why. Randomly like all day long on my fucking nipple it just one of them really fucking annoying
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] So the nipple itching When so, when men have high estrogen, it can cause gynecomastia which is where breast tissue grows just like it does with women when you go through puberty and to taking testosterone you have to you have to watch that and One of like that's the first sign that your estrogen is high and men is that and that you're like breast tissue is kind of activating is that your nipples itch so just like everything else it's probably because of your cycle
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] And then, yeah, on the needs you know maybe so you said he was like he can use the word practical and maybe that's maybe there's his needs and like he said before he was single did the whole thing like structured all the whatever to get by for however, many years So you know, he seems like he's very practicality oriented So maybe that's his needs maybe his needs are you know maybe he's happy to have Like you said a partner to do stuff with the kids or to help you with little things like that and just to kind of go through life with and Also, it's putting up that front like got a girlfriend as my girlfriend I'm not gay. You know what I'm saying.
<b>Sam:</b> So are my boobs growing?!?
<b>Sam:</b> 😁😁
<b>Dave:</b> Hahaha
<b>Sam:</b> Also I love how smart you are about this stuff
<b>Sam:</b> Also. Fuck my cycle lol
<b>Dave:</b> Probably not enough E to make them grow… but idk how that works in women actually 🤔. Like, post-puberty
<b>Sam:</b> I was mostly kidding. They haven’t grown in years and years. Forever small 😭😭
<b>Dave:</b> They aren’t small!
<b>Dave:</b> At all
<b>Dave:</b> They’re perfect!
<b>Sam:</b> They really are. You just had alcohol goggles on. But it’s fine!! I pass for a female when I’m not in a sports bra. Lmao
<b>Dave:</b> They’re perfect!
<b>Dave:</b> Might be afk to eat
<b>Dave:</b> Will be back though
<b>Dave:</b> shared a photo
── 19:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> I love getting a 1099-INT statement for all of .45 cents of interest income lmao. wtf is the point.
<b>Sam:</b> Cost more to print and mail the damn thing
<b>Dave:</b> Lmao
<b>Dave:</b> Right?!
<b>Dave:</b> How long you been home?
<b>Sam:</b> Since 515 probably
<b>Sam:</b> This reminds me though that I need to do taxes 😭
<b>Sam:</b> Since 515 probably
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> How has it been
<b>Dave:</b> Everything settled down hopefully
<b>Sam:</b> Meh yea it’s fine. Kids are both doing their own thing
<b>Dave:</b> I miss you 😒
<b>Sam:</b> I miss you too! Butttttt we will be physically together IN PERSON in less than a week!
<b>Dave:</b> That’s going to be soooo great!
<b>Dave:</b> I absolutely can not wait!
── 20:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> shared a photo
<b>Sam:</b> How are you doing? Feeling better/refreshed?
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah, I’m finally alright. The girl scout cookies sucked though 🙄
<b>Sam:</b> How?!? Thin mints?!
<b>Dave:</b> They have 2 manufactures and they were selling the shit ones
<b>Sam:</b> Whattttt?!?? I had no idea this was a thing?!??
<b>Dave:</b> shared a photo
<b>Dave:</b> I like little brownie
<b>Dave:</b> Tagalongs thin mints, and samoas
<b>Sam:</b> Whattttt?!?? I had no idea this was a thing?!??
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> Yuup
<b>Dave:</b> The abc baker ones are ass
<b>Sam:</b> Is this just a Texas thing?!! I am SHOOKETH
<b>Sam:</b> Ok, maybe I’m just noticing it more lately since I’m NOT being honest, but Christian has been talking a LOT randomly about honesty and how he and I have such a great relationship bc he believes everything I say and trusts me wholeheartedly and knows I never lie to him and he never lies to me
<b>Sam:</b> Feb 01, 2026 8:20:07 PM And I’m just over here like 🥣😖😩 feeling worse and worse as a human
And I’m just over here like 😖😩 feeling worse and worse as a human
<b>Sam:</b> He says he talks to his therapist all the time about how “I have so much money in his bank” not an actual bank but like, you know what I’m saying? It’s a metaphor lol. And I’m just like fackkkkkkk
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah that’s interesting… We’ve talked about this a little bit before. Do you think he’s seeing someone else and projecting his own insecurities about it? Do you think he suspects something?
<b>Sam:</b> I really don’t think so to either one
<b>Sam:</b> In my experience, if you’re feeling guilty about something, you don’t talk about it MORE
<b>Dave:</b> Why would he just bring that up so randomly?
<b>Sam:</b> Right??
<b>Dave:</b> Not at all
<b>Sam:</b> Well he always brings up random shit
<b>Sam:</b> But I swear “honesty” and “integrity” are like his words of the year lol
<b>Dave:</b> Something has to give though… Like, he can’t think everything’s A-OK if y’all haven’t had sex in months. Not to mention the other things that have come up recently - like the meltdowns you’ve had about things… I can’t remember exactly but I know you’ve told me about a couple times. Like when you were at your folks last time.
<b>Sam:</b> 😩 you’re not wrong
<b>Dave:</b> And you are not a terrible person. Just fyi.
<b>Sam:</b> I just feel like he’s going to turn the sex thing back on me
“If you’re saying you want to break up bc we aren’t having sex, I’ve TOLD you I am willing and want to have sex anytime!”
🙄
Then I’ll have to be like, no I just don’t want to have sex with you, specifically. 🤦♀️
<b>Sam:</b> It’ll be fine. That’s not even the worst part. The worst part is how much he tells me he loves me and we have an amazing relationship. THAT’S the worst part. But I’ll get there eventually…
<b>Sam:</b> Like maybe his bar is superrrrrr low 😂
<b>Dave:</b> What do you mean turn it back on you? You aren’t going to say “I want to break up because we don’t have sex”. You’ll have to make it about the root cause.
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah, it’s definitely odd
<b>Sam:</b> Hmmm 🤔 have I gotten down to the root cause yet? Lol
<b>Dave:</b> Well I mean the gist of it is that you’re just not a good match. For a lot of reasons.
<b>Dave:</b> Energy level
<b>Dave:</b> *intensity level is maybe better than energy
<b>Sam:</b> Actually no. What I have to say is how I feel and what I need. It can’t be about him. Then he will get defensive. That’s like breakup 101 🤪
<b>Dave:</b> Feb 01, 2026 8:43:14 PM The bottom line is: you don’t even need anything other that “I’m not happy”.
The bottom line is: you don’t even need anything other than “I’m not happy”.
<b>Sam:</b> True. But not that easy. But I know you know.
I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for being my best friend, therapist, AND “not boyfriend” boyfriend 😂 but thank you and you’re the absolute best
<b>Sam:</b> You put up with me when I incessantly worry over and over and over again about the sameee shit.
<b>Sam:</b> This reminds me…. Eventually we need a word for *waves arms around* this
── 11:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> Any thoughts on this? Are you thinking like, a code word for “relationship”?… something that fits us better?… something better than bf/gf?
<b>Dave:</b> I’m thinking it should be something that conveys “special”.
── 20:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> Bc that’s just so much to type lol
<b>Sam:</b> is it a situationship?
I don’t like that
<b>Dave:</b> …is *waves arms around* not WORTH a couple extra seconds??
<b>Sam:</b> LOLOL
<b>Dave:</b> Hmph
<b>Sam:</b> Thats MY line! I’M the hmph-er!!! 😂
<b>Sam:</b> Touché but like..shorthand is nice!! lol
<b>Sam:</b> Thats MY line! I’M the hmph-er!!! 😂
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah you’re right. Situationship is the right idea but I don’t love it either
<b>Sam:</b> I actually hate it. That’s not it lol
<b>Dave:</b> And you’re so welcome! Thank you for the kind words. You know me and my words of affirmation
<b>Sam:</b> I’m getting into the shower. If you go to bed before I get out, i love you and sweet dreams!!
<b>Dave:</b> I’m headed that way sweetheart. I love you, and sweet dreams to you as well
<b>Dave:</b> shared a photo
We’re less than a week away when we wake up