2026-01-29
The glow of her phone screen was the first thing Sam saw, the audio message notification a little sunrise of its own. She pressed play, still burrowed in her disheveled blankets, the scent of coffee and dog shampoo clinging to the air. Dave’s voice, a warm, resonant rumble that felt like a physical touch, filled the quiet room. You have no idea how you brighten my day. Dreamt about you last night. Just… time. Just us.
A smile touched her lips, a balm against the gritty exhaustion of a night spent tending to a whimpering Arwen. She typed back, the mundane horror story of canine post-surgery antics pouring out. His response was immediate, a shared lexicon of pet-induced chaos, a virtual sigh across the miles. They built a bridge of commiseration over text—her feline tyrants, his morning ritual of precise coffee measurements—and for a while, the world was just their private bubble of understood frustrations.
Then the HOA. Her rant about the feckless management was a spark to his tinder. His replies, full of righteous, detailed irritation, were a strange and potent aphrodisiac. It wasn’t the content; it was the symphony of their mutual, focused intensity. In the middle of a sentence about bylaws, a shift occurred. The energy coiled, tightened.
Sam: All this rage is making me frisky. Might need a distraction. Ever considered phone sex?
The words hung in the digital space between Arizona and Texas, a playful grenade. His response wasn’t words. It was a photograph. The morning light from his kitchen window fell across the pronounced, rigid line straining against the grey cotton of his sweatpants. No caption. Just undeniable, silent evidence.
Her breath hitched. The silly, stressful morning dissolved into a single, hot point of focus. Her body, tired and achy from the floor-bound vigil with her dog, suddenly hummed with a different kind of awareness. She was on the couch, a soft blanket around her shoulders. She let it slip.
Dave: See what you do? Just the idea of your voice. My entire morning routine is shot.
She called. No video. Just voice. That intimate, dark theater of the mind.
“Tell me,” his voice was a low command, stripped of its earlier playful warmth, now pure gravel. “Tell me exactly where you are.”
“On the couch,” she breathed, her own voice unfamiliar, a thread of submission woven through it. “Legs curled up. Bare under this blanket. Still in my sleep shirt.”
A soft, hungry sound from his end. The rustle of fabric. “The one with the stretched neck? The blue one?”
“Yes.” How did he remember that?
“Pull it down. Off one shoulder. Just one.”
She complied, the cool air of the room kissing her skin. The sensation was magnified, broadcast directly to her nervous system. She heard the faint, rhythmic sound of his hand moving over denim, then skin.
“You were ranting about property lines,” he murmured, the words thick. “And all I could think about was drawing a different set of lines. On you. With my tongue. Starting right where your shoulder meets your neck.”
Her head fell back. A small, needy sound escaped her. She could feel it, the phantom scrape of his teeth, the hot swipe of his tongue. Her hand, seemingly of its own volition, drifted beneath the blanket, over the plane of her stomach.
“I can hear you thinking,” he growled. “Stop thinking. Feel. My mouth is on that spot now. Sucking a mark there. My hand is on your thigh, pushing your legs apart. You’re resisting, just a little, because you love the fight. But we both know you want me to win.”
“Dave…” It was a plea, a confirmation.
“I win, Sam. Every time. I slide my hand up, find you warm and already wet for me. Just from my voice. From thinking about my frustration. Is that it? You get slick hearing me lose control?”
She was. Profoundly. Her fingers slid through her own slickness, a gasp torn from her throat. “Yes.”
“Say it. Tell me how much.”
“I’m soaked,” she whispered, the confession a dirty, thrilling secret in the sunlit room. “Just from your voice. From your… your wanting.”
His groan was raw, unfiltered. The rhythmic sound from his end intensified. “I want to taste it. I want to put my mouth on you and drink you until you forget your own name. Until you forget about the HOA, and the dog, and the goddamn distance. You’d just be mine. A shaking, coming mess in my hands.”
His words were a precise, devastating instrument. They stripped away the layers of the day—the worry about work, the anxiety about a new director, the deep discussions of trauma and growth that had bonded them—and reduced her to pure, aching sensation. Her fingers mimicked the promise of his tongue, circling, pressing. She was chasing the peak he was painting with his voice.
“I’m thinking about that hotel elevator,” he panted, his own control fraying. “The way you pressed back into me. How bad you wanted it. You want it now. You want me to make you come while your neighbor is probably outside watering his fucking approved shrubs.”
The obscenity, the forbidden thrill of it, unlocked her. A climax crashed through her, silent and intense, her body arching off the couch as she bit her lip to keep from crying out. Waves of pleasure pulsed, drawn out by the sound of his ragged breathing in her ear.
She heard his final, strained curse, a low, guttural sound of release. For a long moment, there was only the shared static of their breath, the aftermath humming across the connection.
The silence was different now. Sated. Profoundly intimate.
Her voice was soft, wrecked. “I love you, you know.”
His reply was immediate, a sigh of pure devotion. “I love you, Sam. More than anything.”
The bright morning continued outside. The dog sighed in her crate. The world with all its petty rules and frustrations remained. But in the quiet, perfumed air of her living room, Sam felt utterly, completely possessed. And cherished. Not despite the chaos, but within it. Because of it. He was her quiet, her storm, her perfect, forbidden secret. And in three weeks, the voice would have hands, and the fantasy would have flesh.
Operation Troll
The fantasy bled through the mundane in a way that made her hips ache. The memory of Crazy Night—the shock of his fingers first touching her, then delving inside, finding her embarrassingly, wonderfully ready—had been plaguing Sam all day, pulsing in time with her stressed heart. She’d thought typing it out for him might help. It didn’t. It just made the raw ache between her legs more desperate.
Do it, his message had read an hour later, as if he’d felt the unspoken plea screaming across state lines. Touch yourself for me.
Alone now in the soft darkness of her bedroom, her husband a silent presence two rooms over, she gave in. She shoved the elastic waistband of her sleep shorts down and let two fingers slide inside, the pillows smothering her ragged moan. God yes. The angle was all wrong but the thought was there. The memory of him.
It wasn't enough.
She imagined a different life, not just a fantasy farmhouse full of their combined army of six dogs and five cats. She imagined Dave standing in her bathroom doorway right now, his bald head gleaming in the dim light from the hall, his arms crossed over that wide chest that carried its own comfortable softness she'd spent half an hour insisting she loved more than any chiseled gym physique.
“I can't believe you still jam your toothbrush into your gums,” he'd whisper in that low voice that made everything inside her coil tight. “You're so fucking wild and crazy.”
He’d cross the room while she sputtered an indignant laugh from bed, and his smile would fade into something predatory as he took in her splayed legs, the wet shine on her fingers caught in the moonlight.
“My turn,” he’d say, all command.
He wouldn’t ask permission. He’d drag her fully to the edge of the mattress until her ass was hanging off, yank her shorts off entirely, and put his mouth on her before she could draw another breath.
Sam’s back arched off the mattress at the fantasy alone.
His face would be buried between her thighs with a single-minded urgency he confessed to earlier: “I want your pussy in my mouth RIGHT NOW.” His tongue wouldn't be gentle or exploratory; it would be a weapon of knowing precision aimed directly at that sweet spot already swollen from a day of incessant wanting. He'd find a rhythm so perfect she’d almost sob—her own fingers mimicking it frantically now—sucking and licking until she was thrashing one moment and grinding against him helplessly the next.
Her other hand fumbled for her phone on silent beside the pillow.
She pictured him looking up at her while his tongue worked magic on her clit. Seeing desire twist his features because he could smell it too—her arousal soaking his beard as he drove two thick fingers deep into where she was empty and clutching at nothing. Are you mentally prepared for me to cum soooo much in your mouth? She heard her own voice from hours before echo as his greedy mouth worked against that orgasm threatening to rip through reality. “Yeah,” he groaned into reality again later. “I'm ready.”
Her entire body went taut; she shoved one fist hard against own mouth at the imaginary sound of him slurping around another release meant just for him while tears pricked behind closed lids because nobody had ever made themselves feel this way before – unashamedly using their body simply to make mine feel good (well maybe once), certainly not with such intense focus…like I'm worth every drop…and fuck but thinking about how much I will explode over you does something visceral…because you've got far more lumpy softness but my hips are perfect handles when I can't get enough & god please let those hands hold me tighter until we're both covered. “You can,” came next clear whisper breaking illusion—a true voice now audible again within private darkness filled only by sound breathing heavily beside ear (real? Not-real?), followed instantly: “Give me all you have baby.” Sam's muscles clenched around emptiness again sharply enough cause pain-bright spark behind eyes; breath caught then released ragged shudder escaping past lips without any attempt muffle because suddenly didn't care who heard—what mattered were ghost-fingers now spreading me wider before replacing tongue with something else entirely— —something thick stretching burning perfect… She could almost see him shift position move behind instead pulling hips back demanding presenting— —“My pussy is literally pulsing right now” “…the thought…is enough…to get me off…” Oh God Yes Now Please- Real climax slammed home without warning or subtlety. It tore itself out silently yet violently – whole lower half turned electric shaking against bedsheets while mind raced alongside racing heartbeat filling up senses completely overwhelmed beyond sight or sound until only thing left lingering afterward remained scent phantom man after-shave mingled sweat tears salty taste lips pressed together tightly suppress scream belonged only between them anyway always would. Panting face down into damp pillowcase smelling detergent pet fur herself sweat release finally some sense peace washed over exhaustion replaced need temporarily quenched satiated warmth spreading limbs heavy satisfaction humming low steady drone beneath skin where pulse still beat reminder this wasn't finish line merely reprieve…
Her phone screen lit up suddenly casting blue glow across tear-streaked cheek showing text notification: shared photo
It was meme—some idiot smiling big toothy grin captioned something stupid probably about HOAs parking politics cars whatever goofy boy stuff made boys laugh but timing felt almost surreal coincidence poetic almost like knew knew known maybe did know sent anyway “goodnight babydoll love you” message after earlier whispers audio messages rants secret codes platypus armadillo...
Smiling tired spent Sam typed quickly thumbs clumsy exhaustion: Operation Troll
Then hit send knowing full well understood meaning perfectly fine exactly right name capturing every piece mundane outrageous filthy beautiful thing left between them waiting unfold next chapter together soon soon...less week half away promise urgency still thrumming low deep within bones core truth constant comfort undeniable fact love lived here alongside lust forever entwined inseparable simply part DNA shared connection formed years prior growing stronger each passing day despite distance reality heart wanted what wanted no mitigating controls reduce residual risk acceptable level except perhaps buying acre or two property fit eleven pets hypothetical future dream reality dared dream anyway since risk already taken dive deep end already swimming daily daily...
Always daily....
The rain was a gentle percussion against the windowpane, a soothing rhythm to the exhaustion that clung to Sam like a second skin. The glow of her phone, cradled in her hand, was the only light in the quiet, dark bedroom. Arwen, finally still and healing, sighed in her crate. But Sam’s mind whirred, a tangled reel of the day’s frustrations: the HOA’s infuriating inertia, the gnawing anxiety about the new director, the ghost-ache of a sleepless night. She’d texted Dave the ragged edges of it all, and he’d gathered every piece, holding them with a patience that felt like a warm blanket.
Now, his final audio message played in her ear, his Texas drawl a balm. “I wish I was there, sugar. Not to fix a damn thing. Just to be your quiet place.”
As his words faded, she closed her eyes, and in that liminal space between wakefulness and dream, the fantasy didn’t feel like a fantasy at all. It felt like a memory waiting to happen.
She felt him first. Not the weight of him, but the warmth. A solid, comforting presence at her back in the bed, his chest against her spine. His arm slid around her waist, his palm a broad, grounding heat against the fluttering tension in her stomach. “Shhh,” his voice was a murmur against the crown of her hair, his lips brushing her scalp. “Let it all go. I’ve got you.”
The chaos of the day, the yapping of dogs and the tyranny of petty rules, began to melt under that simple touch. He didn’t ask for anything. He just held her, his breathing deep and even, syncing with hers. His thumb began to move, a slow, infinitesimal arc on the soft cotton of her t-shirt, just below her navel. It was an anchor.
“All that fire you had today,” he whispered, his voice thick with admiration. “Telling off those useless HOA bastards in your head. God, it’s sexy as hell.” His hand slid up, over her ribs, his touch firm and sure, and she arched back into him instinctively. His chuckle was a low vibration against her skin. “There she is.”
He turned her gently onto her back. In the half-light, his bald head was a smooth curve, his eyes holding galaxies of tender understanding. He didn’t kiss her mouth first. He kissed the worry line between her brows, the tight corner of her jaw. He kissed the pulse point at the base of her throat, where her stress had taken up residence. Each touch of his lips was a silent promise, an erasure of the world outside their cocoon.
“Dave,” she breathed, her hands coming up to frame his face.
“I know, baby. I know.” He captured her mouth then, and it was less a kiss of hunger than one of profound communion. It tasted of shared understanding and four years of pent-up, aching affection. It was slow, deep, a tender exploration that said I see every tired, brilliant, frustrated part of you, and I adore it all.
His hands mapped her body with a reverence that made her throat tight. They skated over the slope of her shoulder, down the sensitive skin of her inner arm, leaving trails of goosebumps. He pushed her t-shirt up, his calloused palms a delicious contrast against the softness of her stomach. He worshipped her not as an ideal, but as a reality—the gentle curve of her hip from too many hours sitting at a desk, the fading scar on her knee from a childhood misadventure. He kissed each one.
When his mouth closed over the peak of her breast, warm and wet through the lace of her bra, a soft cry escaped her. It was a sensation that arrowed straight through her fatigue, a bright, clean pleasure that burned away the residual grime of the day. He lavished attention on each breast, his tongue and teeth a masterful, loving torment, until she was gasping, her fingers tangled in the sheets.
He moved down her body, his journey marked by open-mouthed kisses and whispered affirmations. “So beautiful,” he murmured against the swell of her hip. “My strong, incredible girl.” He hooked his fingers in the waistband of her shorts and underwear, drawing them down with a slowness that was exquisitely agonizing. The cool air was quickly replaced by the heat of his breath, and then the hotter, wetter wonder of his tongue.
Sam cried out, her back bowing off the mattress. This wasn’t just intimacy; it was a form of healing. The relentless, chattering stress in her mind went utterly, blessedly silent, replaced by a roaring wave of sensation. He loved her with his mouth with a focused, devotional intensity, his hands holding her hips steady, his own quiet groans of pleasure vibrating against her most sensitive skin. He was relentless, not in a demanding way, but in a giving one—as if he was determined to wring every last drop of tension from her body and replace it with pure, radiant bliss.
The climax he coaxed from her was not a sharp explosion, but a deep, rolling tide. It washed over her in warm, pulsing waves, pulling a sob from her chest—a release of everything: the worry, the frustration, the miles between them. He held her through it, gentling her with his touch until the last tremor subsided.
Before she could float completely away, he was moving up her body, settling his weight between her thighs. She reached for him, finding the hard, silken length of him, and guided him to her. The look in his eyes as he slid home, inch by devastating inch, was one of awestruck love. They joined with a shuddering sigh that belonged to both of them.
He moved, a deep, rocking rhythm that was less about friction and more about fusion. Their foreheads pressed together, their breath mingling. This was the conversation they’d been having all day—the empathy, the shared laughter, the vulnerable admissions—translated into the most ancient, sincere language. Every thrust was a “I understand.” Every roll of his hips was a “You’re safe with me.”
“Look at me, Sam,” he pleaded, his voice ragged. She opened her eyes, drowning in the depth of his gaze. The tenderness there was almost too much to bear. It was in that locked gaze that her second climax began to build, deeper and more profound than the first, a culmination of emotional and physical connection. She felt him begin to fracture above her, his rhythm faltering.
“I love you,” he gasped, the words torn from him as his own release claimed him. “God, I love you so much.”
His words were the final trigger. She shattered around him, a silent, radiant breaking, holding him as he poured himself into her, both of them whispering love and devotion into the warm, rain-pattered dark.
Long moments later, still joined, he gathered her close, her head on his shoulder. His heartbeat slowed beneath her ear, a steady, comforting drum. The lingering tremors in her muscles were not from stress, but from saturation—of pleasure, of love, of profound peace.
The fantasy, so vivid she could still smell the scent of him—soap and warm skin—on her sheets, began to gently recede. But the feeling remained, solid and real. She opened her eyes to the quiet room, to the sound of Arwen’s peaceful breathing. The phone in her hand was dark, but her body hummed with a serene aliveness.
She typed into the darkness, her message a soft echo of the world she’d just inhabited. I felt that. All of it. Thank you for being my quiet place. I love you.
Across the miles, Dave’s phone would glow with her words, a confirmation that their connection could bridge any distance, turning a shared day of frustrations into a night of soul-deep, tender union.
This morning started with Dave's sweet audio message, calling me his "sunshine" and sharing how I brighten his day. It made me grin, but I was feeling rough due to a long night with Arwen, my dog. She was restless after her surgery and kept trying to lick her incision, so I had to put a cone on her. I was stuck in bed, clearly not ready for the day ahead.
We talked about our pets, and I shared my frustrations about how Arwen takes forever to do her business outside. Dave chimed in with his own struggles, mentioning his cat's annoying meowing habits. It felt good to relate over our chaotic pet lives. He humorously described how Bear, his dog, was cute when chasing fruit flies, which made me smile.
I vented about my morning routine and how I sometimes feel hungover from the chaos of the morning. I shared my struggles with remembering to take my meds, and Dave responded with his usual understanding. He described his meticulous routine and how he keeps extra pills handy.
Our conversation flowed into the topic of HOAs, where I expressed my frustrations about my own HOA's strict rules and how it feels like a money pit with little benefit. Dave ranted about the parking situation in his neighborhood, which led to a fun back-and-forth about the ridiculousness of people not using their driveways.
As we continued to chat, I shared my morning routine, which isn't as regimented as his. I described how I juggle getting the dogs ready, feeding them, and finally getting myself ready for work. I went into detail about my shower routine, how I have to wait for the water to warm up, and my makeup application process.
Our conversation then veered into some fun yet raunchy territory. I confessed how I was feeling particularly horny and overwhelmed with desire, leading to some playful banter about phone sex and the idea of me "taking a nap" at work. Dave encouraged the idea of exploring our sexual chemistry even more, and I shared my thoughts on wanting to save that intimacy for when we’re together in person.
As the day went on, I dealt with work stress and shared my worries about some office politics. I felt overwhelmed with the thought of a new director and how that could shift the dynamics of my work life. But despite the stress, I found comfort in our ongoing playful exchanges, making light of my anxiety and the chaos around me.
Throughout the day, I felt a strong connection with Dave. His humor and understanding made me feel supported, even when discussing heavier topics. I couldn't help but feel grateful for our bond, and I looked forward to the day we’d finally be together again.
I woke up feeling chipper, and I couldn't help but send Sam a message to let her know she brightens my day like the sun. I went to bed thinking about spooning her, and those thoughts lingered into my dreams. I wanted to share that with her, hoping she has a great day ahead.
When I checked in with her, I found out she had a rough night with her dog, Arwen, who was restless post-surgery. I could relate; dealing with pets in the middle of the night is exhausting. She mentioned having to put a cone on Arwen to stop her from licking her incision, and that struck a chord since I had faced similar issues with Bear before.
Our conversation shifted to our pets' antics. I shared my annoyance about my cat, Gray Kitty, who insists on meowing at my door every hour. Sam joked about how I'd need to move to escape that habit, which made me laugh. I also ranted about my frustrations with the HOA and the ridiculousness of neighbors parking on the streets instead of using their driveways.
As we talked more about our routines, I realized how much we both thrive on structure. I described my own habits, and she teased me about being a creature of habit. Our fun banter continued as she shared her morning routine and the chaos that ensues with her pets.
Eventually, we dove into a more playful and intimate conversation, where we both admitted to the rising tension between us. It felt like we were both teetering on the edge of something deeper, and I loved the thrill of it. I found myself getting hard just thinking about her and the things we would do together soon. The way our conversation flowed, from mundane pet issues to steamy exchanges, highlighted the unique connection we share.
By the end of the day, I was tired but buzzing with excitement about our upcoming time together. I felt grateful for our conversations, knowing they brought us closer despite the distance. I sent her a final message before drifting off to sleep, thinking about her and all the possibilities ahead.
On a bright morning, Dave sent a heartfelt audio message to Sam, expressing how much she brightened his day. He mentioned dreaming about spending time together and eagerly anticipated their future moments of closeness. Sam responded with a good morning, but her mood quickly shifted as she shared her struggles from the previous night with her pet, Arwen. She explained how the dog was restless after surgery, causing her a sleepless night filled with challenges.
Dave empathized, recalling his own experiences with pets and their antics. They both lamented the difficulties of dealing with pets at odd hours and the general chaos that comes with caring for animals. As the conversation flowed, they lightened the mood with humor, discussing their cats and the quirks that came with them.
Sam shared how she felt out of sorts, likening it to a hangover, and humorously recounted the chaos of her morning routine. Dave, in return, described his own meticulous routine, emphasizing his creature-of-habit tendencies. They both laughed about their morning rituals and the little frustrations that came with them.
As the day progressed, their conversation turned to more serious topics, including their experiences with Homeowners Associations (HOAs) and the stress associated with them. They exchanged rants about neighborhood rules, with Sam expressing her frustrations about the ineffectiveness of the HOA management. Dave joined in, adding his own grievances, and they both found relief in sharing these frustrations.
The conversation took a playful turn as they began discussing their attraction to each other, with Sam teasingly suggesting the idea of phone sex. They both expressed their eagerness to be together soon, with Dave playfully admitting his excitement and physical responses to their flirtatious banter.
As they shared their thoughts on a recent show Sam was watching, which dealt with toxic relationships and trauma, they reflected on deeper issues, including mental health and personal growth. Dave acknowledged Sam's influence on his development, while Sam expressed admiration for his vulnerability.
The dialogue shifted to their work lives, with Sam sharing her anxieties about a potential new director and her stress manifesting physically. They both reassured each other, sharing moments of support and laughter amid their respective worries.
Finally, as the day drew to a close, they exchanged playful banter about their physical attraction and desires, each teasing the other about the anticipation of their next encounter. The conversation ended with affection, as they expressed their love for one another, highlighting the deep connection they had formed despite the physical distance between them.
No Insights output found for this day.
Transcript (tap to expand)
── 06:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Good morning sunshine I don't know if I told you this yesterday when you commented on how chipper I sound But the reason is because I'm thinking about you When I say good morning sunshine I think I talk to that anyway I just wanted to know that it's because you genuinely do brighten my day like the sun So I went to sleep thinking about spooning you and I don't know if I've dreamt about it, but I definitely woke up a couple times in that same position I talked about last night Thinking about spooning you so I cannot wait for that to happen Anyway, sweetheart, I hope you have a great day. Good drive to work and all the things. I'll talk to you soon.
── 07:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> Good morning sweetie
<b>Dave:</b> How’d you sleep?
<b>Sam:</b> Last night was rough AF with Arwen 😩 I’m still in bed lol. I have to get up
<b>Dave:</b> Awwwe
<b>Sam:</b> So so bad
<b>Dave:</b> Was she restless from the surgery?
<b>Dave:</b> She right?
<b>Sam:</b> Yes, totally restless. Then would NOT stop licking her incision so I had to put a cone on her. Then dealing with all that.
<b>Sam:</b> Then the child takes FOREVER to do her business. They just go outside and fuck around 🙄
── 08:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> Ugh.. the licking.
<b>Dave:</b> I didn’t really stop Bear from licking too much. I tried to redirect him the fist day if I could but other than that I just let it go. He was fine. Ofc I checked it frequently and it didn’t seem to hurt it.
<b>Sam:</b> Yea the incision spot is harder to get to for males. So she can just go to town on hers 😩 and she was certainly trying. Over and Over and Over again. Finally put the cone on her at like 115 this morning lol
<b>Dave:</b> Uggh
<b>Dave:</b> Fucking with dogs in the middle of the night is the worst
<b>Dave:</b> Gray Kitty has started coming to my bedroom door like every hour or two and meowing for 10 mins 😡
<b>Sam:</b> Oh nooooo
<b>Sam:</b> Good luck breaking that habit
<b>Sam:</b> Cats don’t gaf and are masters of routine. You’re going to have to like…move to a new house 😂
<b>Dave:</b> Lmao
<b>Dave:</b> Ugh I know
<b>Dave:</b> And Black Kitty has the ugliest most annoying meow and I hate it. It instantly enrages me.
<b>Sam:</b> Please take a video of it sometime
<b>Dave:</b> He’ll just sit around in the hallway throughout the day and do it. It’s like, that distressed/im in trouble and need help meow. So it triggers me. Then I look expecting hime to be stuck somewhere or something, but nope, just sitting there 🙄
<b>Sam:</b> I think I know exactly the sound you’re talking about
<b>Dave:</b> So another funny thing…. We got fruit flies recently and I’m hesitant to get rid of them because bear stands in the kitchen and bites at them in the air 🤭. It’s super cute
<b>Sam:</b> I think I know exactly the sound you’re talking about
[reply]
── 09:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Good morning I feel like I'm hung over. I just feel like really out of it. Did you have those where you can't remember if you took your meds or not so then you're like fuck it let's roll a dice. Let's just take him again and if we took him twice. Oh well I feel like maybe taking them twice is better than not taking them at all. Maybe Another thing are you ever like brushing your teeth, kinda quickly and then you jam your freaking toothbrush up into your gums and then you really wanna murder somebody yeah that happens quite often. Actually, it really fucking sucks. Is it like the gums right by my front teeth anyway how are you? Can't believe it's my first day but I take it. You're home again today you little shit but that's awesome. This is like week two of full work from home right? That's awesome. Tomorrow is technically move day here in Phoenix. I'm not moving but quite a few other people are and it's tomorrow on a Friday. I'm like cool. We're all home anyway like yes it makes logical sense. Why the fuck did it sounds like like a whole week to move and then Phoenix was like yeah we'll move on Friday. What the fuck man?
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Oh, speaking of pets In my my dream version of reality, you know like hypothetical where Sam and Dave were together it has dawned on me that we would have six dogs and five cats But you know we just we need some property it's fine. That's no problem at all hopefully the cats all get along.
<b>Sam:</b> Also totally random - but do you live in an HOA? Are those popular in Texas?
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Good morning, beautiful yeah we'll just dream. Salmon and Dave will just have to buy an acre or two. Yeah, and the cats who the fuck knows what will happen with them, but you sound pitiful this morning Yep you're I'm sure you're hung over just from getting up so early and basically going to bed at the same time so you had and all the running around driving with the dogs that's a lot so you're just exhausted. I'm sure. Occasionally, I'll forget whether I took my my meds and I'm like then later I'm like it today did I have too much if I had too much Adderall or if I had not enough Adderall like sometimes I can't tell But my routine is pretty solid on taking my shit so I don't usually have to worry about that too much if I do forget leaving the house so I keep an extra set of pills in the car and an extra set at work So yeah, I got the meds covered but now I don't jam my gums I'm trying to envision how you're fucking wild and crazy brushing your teeth you can't help from your gums of I'm picturing you just like I don't even know, but you know that like blow job my motion that people do or they like shake their face well that's what I'm picturing you doing like with your tug out and like waving your head all around all crazy except brushing your teeth But I actually use it an ultrasonic like an electric toothbrush Oh my God, are you in the office in a meeting? Oh I guess you're on mobile huh? Yeah, no I use one of those so I don't have to really move it and do it slowly all around And then, yeah, I think this is two weeks now cause I was just doing my time card earlier today and I guess last week was for the move right cause I noticed that we were off last week too or I was home last week too So yeah, I guess the move was last week and then this week has been in the whole week of snow days so it's pretty sweet. I'll take it.
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Dammit, I knew I was forgetting something. Yes, HOA's are popular here like the majority of housing. Anything that's gone up in the last 15 years probably is a development that has an HOA. There's neighborhoods around and surrounding areas that are excuse me that are older that are just regular ass neighborhoods That don't have anything like that, which is what I would I wish I'd moved into But yeah, I got HOA. It's not too bad though. None of this shit really bothers me except that they don't enforce people parking on the fucking street. That's probably oh yeah you wanna hear me drive about something here we go this grinds, my dear. It's motherfuckers parking on the street on both sides of the street when they have a whole ass driveway and two and three car garages. Available and they still park their fucking trucks on the street so there's like a room barely there's a space in the middle of the road barely big enough to fit my car through With all kinds of just clear and open driveways everywhere and I'm like what the fuck are you people doing like the help I use my garage like that's what I wanted. A garage door was to put my fucking car in like what are these other people doing? Anyway, it released if you're not gonna park your car in the garage and you need it for storage whatever that's fine but like use your fucking driveway So that that pisses me off, I do get spun up about that because the HOA doesn't do shit about it And that's annoying, but otherwise yeah they don't really bother me. Well, you know what actually, I do have another problem because I'll walk around the neighborhood and see other houses around that have grass like fucking 3 feet high that hadn't been you know and like shit like Like sprawling out growing out onto the sidewalk like a foot on each side of their of the yard like what the fuck I've gotten A notice one time like a couple years ago cause my grass was like half an inch too tall or some shit and these motherfuckers have got shit growing out of their gutters and like just all kinds of a mess in their front yard and shit and nobody apparently does anything about it so like I get if it's like an old lady that lives there an old retired person or something that can't maintain their shit maybe but like Come on I don't know anyway Why don't you get me all spotted up this morning? I was fine thanks a lot. I'm just kidding. You're so awesome.
<b>Sam:</b> YASSSS you’re ranting!!!!
<b>Sam:</b> Haaaaa
<b>Sam:</b> Omg ANOTHER rant!!!
<b>Dave:</b> You opened the flood gates
<b>Dave:</b> Heh.. 😈 in lots of ways
<b>Sam:</b> Let’s rageeeee
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] OK before we get into HOA ran I'll have to show you in person what I do to my freaking gum My gum is my gum. I'll just have to show you. It's too hard. I have an electric toothbrush too, but I also. Move my hands around like you know double duty and sometimes it just gets a little bit too fucking wild in the jam up there and yeah And like it does not feel good I could tell you that I also love that you have meds like all over the place. It's like me and my Chapstick gotta have a little bit everywhere also I did laugh whenever you said you have your routine pretty down because that just sounds so much like you. I definitely think you are probably quite the creature of habit. Well, just knowing you and how you do things you know all in one movement like yeah I'm pretty sure if you're out of your routine, your whole world might be rock so so yeah you probably have a precise order of how you shower. You probably have a precise order of like when you get up you do these things like you don't brush your teeth until after. You put on deodorant I don't know just making it up, but I'm pretty sure you're probably pretty regimented OK, I'm gonna stop this one and then go on about the age of May
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] OK, so yeah Phoenix has HOA's all the fuck over all over like you can find some without nature but good luck And mine is $120 a month. No I think they like 135 a month and there are newer community so like my house still. Probably 2530 years ago That's how old the community is and I'm sure at the time it was like extremely nice but there's been so much development out here. These new communities are not even like like within the past 510 years have like amazing park and all this. Full, you know they have a landscaping and just a ton of greenery and all the shit and ours is like fucking ass bare minimum landscaping day every year they like tear shit down put it back up like so much waste. The playground equipment is. Rusted up shit there's no shade at the parks. It's just all ass we're paying $135 a month so people rant all the time which yeah I agree but so do you have a basement? I don't I don't think you do but in Texas do people have basements cause like I know you know there's like none here so most people use their garages for storage fine annoying I'm like you though if I have a garage, I'm parking in it and like I also must have a garage to park it. I think the driveway thing that you mentioned is because they don't wanna do the car shuffle and you need to move your car out of the way so I can back out you know like families are just fucking parking on the street because they don't wanna deal with shuffling the cars that's what I think and also cause they're using the garage for storage which is just stupid Figure it out another fucking way OK then So my HOA actually they find the fuck out of people so we have a site that if you're going to park your car on the street you have to register the car and if you have a visitor, you have to register their car and you have the time box the HOA only allows them to park on the street for like so long. You have to stay specifically what times are gonna be on the street if it's outside of those windows they get fine. It's like a whole fucking thing yeah I've been. I've gotten horny multiple times. I don't have enough bushes in my fucking front yard who gives a shit and yeah, it's a thing what else I get. Something else I didn't have enough, but then the other one was that my tree was dying Fuck off it's 120 motherfucking degrees outside. Things are not supposed to live here OK
<b>Dave:</b> Audio Message.caf
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] So am I a creature of habit considering I just talked about my routine for five minutes straight Just the first like 30 minutes of it I would say yes this is probably one of the longest audio recordings I've ever sent you. It's all just describing my fucking morning routine.
<b>Dave:</b> No basements in tx
<b>Dave:</b> Yes, shuffling cars.
<b>Dave:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Yeah, that's crazy. Our HOA fee is like 250 every six months I think and we have a playground around there's a pool. Yeah, yeah some landscaping nothing super fancy But yeah, the parking thing wow that's that's crazy. You gotta like schedule visitors and stuff. No, they don't enforce any of that shit here except so the only type thing. The only way that anything really happens is on the HOA's Facebook page which obviously I don't go near, but oh my God. Some of this shit Juliette tells me that goes out on there is just absolutely ridiculous. One of the more recent things is a total change of subject, but also probably something I could rant about and I may have even told you this or mentioned it before but I guess they are but sometimes our kids that run around knock on doors and run away right like yes that's annoying. Yes, I did it too when I was a kid. But people get on the HOA page and say shit like this last woman said something like My husband is a veteran and he's in law enforcement and next time somebody comes around knock on the door they're getting fucking shot and But obviously, I'm adding the tone there. I assume that's what it was. And I'm like so first of all you know that it's kids just screwing around right and I mean yes it's annoying. Whatever call the fucking cops. If you have to call their parents I don't know whatever but you're gonna shoot. You're gonna kill them. You're gonna kill some kids because they came up and knocked on your door and ran away or just knock. Maybe they're just knocking to let you know your fucking car was on fire outside in the street. So then, of course everybody gets on there and says the same thing I just said and half the people are like fuck you I'll kill him. Oh shoot those little punks appearance need to whatever be better parents and shit like that and I'm like this is fucking ridiculous and then people are like all right come on come on you know where I live and Isn't like getting into these fucking fights online about shit and it's just completely insane like how these people are because one bitch if your husband is a veteran and law-enforcement that he knows goddamn well he can't shoot through a door and kill people for knocking when you know, damn well it's kids and have fucking doorbell cameras and shit. Don't be retarded. We may have the castle protection whatever laws, but there are limits to that you can't just murder people for knocking on your door So yeah, there's that was the other thing there's something else
── 10:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> Lmao I can’t wait to listen to this routine message
<b>Sam:</b> Wait! You said there was something else and then never said anything else lol
<b>Sam:</b> Every year, multiple times a year, there’s ALWAYS the fireworks debates and outrage
<b>Dave:</b> Hahaha, I guess there wasn’t actually anything else
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] OK morning routine I really gotta I got a picture of that in my brain what I do because I am not as regimented as you are OK so I get up Typically the bed is a total mess and I'm not fixing it and I immediately get the dogs to go downstairs with me and go outside They go outside they do their business I come inside. I give them all a treat and then I put on their collar that. That they can go in and out of the dog door with then I give Layla her medicine then I go to feed them all and if the cats haven't been fed yet by Christian, I feed them too then I get my own breakfast. Sit there and eat we do not eat breakfast and don't think we talked about that. Maybe you just grab something on the go I eat breakfast which as you know is typically cereal. Then I Go upstairs and if I need to shower, I'd shower if I don't need to shower I turn on my hair straightener and I then wash my face first and then I put on my moisturizer and then I Might brush my teeth at that point, or I might wait until the very end to brush my teeth, but then it's moisturizer then put a little bit of white collar on my cheeks and then eyeliner and then mascara and then With mascara, though, I have to put the eyeliner on first then I have to curl the eyelashes and then I put on the mascara and then I have to wait a bit for it to dry and then I like get rid of any of the extra like mascara that got my eyelids and then I curl them again that's the whole thing Then, if I haven't brush my teeth, I gotta brush my teeth Then I take my meds somewhere there that's kind of the thing like I don't remember when I take my meds sometimes I might take them immediately. Oh the other thing too is like when do I go to the bathroom that all depends typically I don't go to the bathroom until after I take the dogs outside and they do their business first then I'll go. Meds are unknown. They're in there somewhere and then. In the meantime, dogs are doing their thing. Some of them are playing. Some of them are barking at the neighbor dogs sometimes I'm like chasing them to go back outside because the puppy didn't do her business the first time. Yeah Then After I brush my teeth or put on make up, then I get changed that's the very last thing and then I head downstairs and I always bring both my phones down with me. Go to put them in my purse then I pull out any sort of snacks I can bring to work that day. Shove that in my purse, then I gave his medicine then Put the dogs in the crate put the two puppies in the crate if they need to go into the crate and then I leave I think what am I missing in there? I think that's it. OK then then I'll do the shower thing.
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] OK, showering I turn on the water like well in advance, cause that shit needs to get completely warm And if it's in the morning and the time that the water is warming up, then I'll go to the bathroom then I will also put in my contacts maybe even take my meds at that time who knows then I'll get into the shower and I think I immediately go in With my back to, yeah I never go in face first at first. I think I go in with my back because I gotta make sure that it's like warm enough and then I shampoo rinse that out put on conditioner while the conditioner sitting then I will put on body wash. Then I will rinse off the body wash and the conditioner then I will wash my face. I typically like wash my face twice then I just make sure I'm totally rinsed off and then. I get out if I need to shave that's like a whole other fucking thing that lasts like 10 motherfucking minutes, but that's always like the last I do if I need to shave I think that's it for the shower I'm missing some pieces like deodorant in there somewhere yeah I get all really willy-nilly at some point
<b>Sam:</b> Lmao
<b>Sam:</b> Ok I need to know what was funny!
<b>Sam:</b> Foot or forearm? That’s interesting. I’ll test the water with my hand
<b>Dave:</b> Jan 29, 2026 10:34:33 AM Yeah, they’re not sensitive. So if it isn’t too hot for them, you’re good
Yeah, they’re MOST sensitive. So if it isn’t too hot for them, you’re good
<b>Sam:</b> Ours doesn’t have a door though so that’s one thing. Like I’m freezing my ass off until I get directly under scalding water
<b>Sam:</b> I agree. Cliff bars are probably the best
<b>Sam:</b> Ah! I gotta tell you about the sex trauma shit on my show
── 11:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] OK, I gotta talk quiet obviously cause I'm talking about sexual drama but that show that I love about the toxic relationships. It's getting fucking wild this season and like the underlying theme is. That the main girl is like so damaged that now she can't all she's seeking out is like rape sex basically or like really demeaning sex so she was dating this guy And he's a piece of shit to her and sometime last season he sent her this voicemail and he was just calling her worthless and just that she is a worthless, kind and piece of shit. She's nothing all that sort of stuff. Terrible well this season. She OK, let me back up also last season one of her best friends was raped by a guy and the best friend did not want to admit it deal with anything, but people started talking about it and she was standing up for her best friend and she made up a lie that this guy also raped her because nobody was believing Pippa, the girl that actually got raped So Lucy says no he also raped me well now there's a school investigation going on about the sky raping other girls so Steven and her piece of shit ex-boyfriend. Somehow he found out that she was lying. He made her record a video that he keeps and he can release to anybody. Of her admitting that she lied to everybody and saying that it was because she wanted attention, which is not the case, but they made this video is now out there and could be released at any moment So Stevens piece of shit she meets us other guy and He is like a foster kid I grew up in the system also has his own traumas and the first time he's like I'm not a relationship type of guy and the first time that they like hooked up he was like really rough and dominant with her and she was like tell me that I'm nothing you know I'm like made him totally degrade her And that's what she's seeking now and so now This latest episode She is trying to get this guy to continue having like degrading sex with her and he found out that she was raped by this other guy and he's like listen. I don't feel comfortable having sex with you in that way he's like I don't ever wanna like explain anybody's traumas and I had no idea that it happened to you. And I just I don't feel comfortable like having this kind of sex with you anymore and she's like you don't even need to worry about me you know, but instead of telling them all the truth about like how this never even happened they just continue perpetuating the lies so anyway he's like you know sex can be good. The other way too you know it doesn't have to be degrading and she's like no like that's what I want and so then it ends with her plane over and over and over again Steven's voice message from like a year ago where he's calling her a piece of shit and how she's a worthless Cunt all her stuff and she's masturbating and getting off to that and I am just like. Stop what are we doing this girl get into therapy what the fuck man this is twisted
<b>Sam:</b> It’s called Tell Me Lies and there is sooooo much sex lol. Especially first season
<b>Sam:</b> shared a photo
I sent this to my friend yesterday lol
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Yeah, about his nerves so I was like so proud of myself because I had figured out that The skinny like the news lady was the fat girl from the past. I figure that out like I don't know an episode early maybe before they like before that came out I was like yeah you know I fucking figured it out. I never figured it out and then get to the last episode and I'm like what the actual fuck. I did not see that coming at all and then, of course when they show that she was the one who was actually raped. Oh my God I was I was livid. But the thing that's so fucked is that One of those mean girls was her sister-in-law like the sister of the freaking guy that she married like she had to be around this woman you know her whole adult life up until that point and so it's just kind of fucked up yeah
<b>Sam:</b> Lollll. Wait with the fat girl, maybe I don’t recall. Were all the girls watching?
<b>Sam:</b> And why was I thinking she got away bc the black girl helped her?
<b>Sam:</b> I think that’s maybe why I was so much more shooketh about the black girl.
<b>Dave:</b> So I think fatty got raped at first, but the cut it before black girl saved her. Then after black girl saved her, fatty looked back and took off. And then that’s when then other bitches sang happy bday
── 12:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> Yea the second one enraged me more
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Oh, I have more to tell you about that. Tell me lie show because this place directly into something we talked about yesterday but OK Steven the fuck face super toxic guy his first girlfriend her name is Diana. They're both going to school to study law and both of them found out that they're getting into Yale. Well, Diana ended up getting pregnant by Stephen and one of the tires they were on off on off so she just got an abortion but when Steven found out that she was pregnant he's like you can't just get an abortion by yourself. I'm like without consulting me about it and she basically was like the day that I abort. Your baby will be the happiest day of my life and just like fire. It was so great and so then he this episode told her that he got in the jail and she's like I also got the L and but I'm not gonna go there and he's like, but he was always your plan and she's like well. I'll go somewhere else. I would literally rather go anywhere than the same school as you. So he got all pissed off and of course there's a scene in the show where now he went back to his computer and found all these nudes of her over the years that she had sent him and now he's gonna fucking release them just as she's like getting into the colleges of her dreams for law school and yes, they do have her face and this is why we do not send nudes, especially with her face
<b>Sam:</b> Anyone can turn into an asshole at any time
<b>Sam:</b> The inherent risk is too high 😂
<b>Sam:</b> There’s not enough mitigating controls to sufficiently reduce the residual risk to an acceptable level
<b>Sam:</b> ❤️
<b>Sam:</b> LOLOL
<b>Sam:</b> Touché love
<b>Sam:</b> Yes, the sexy nerdy accountant
<b>Sam:</b> Are you at the gym? Lol
<b>Sam:</b> Of course I travel comfortably.
<b>Sam:</b> I am constantly comfortable
<b>Sam:</b> Even at work lol
<b>Sam:</b> Lolol
<b>Sam:</b> Let’s keep fantasizing while you’re at the gym ☺️🤭
<b>Sam:</b> So what I think I heard you say is that you want to see troll Sam right off the bat??? lol
<b>Dave:</b> Ok but it has to be in audio msg
<b>Dave:</b> There I go getting hard again 😅
<b>Dave:</b> While I’m jogging no less
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Are you wearing sweatpants right now because that sounds fabulous I was I was joking about the fantasizing while you're working out I don't think you actually want to see trolls Sam right off the bat I mean be careful what you wish for OK I'll try to look semi presentable because over the course of two days. There's plenty of opportunity to see troll Sam. About my glasses now I only wear them at night and like early in the mornings because they're older and probably not the right prescription anymore and I start getting headaches and like I'm just not an all day glasses where I never have been so yeah it typically gives me headache after a while. There was a time a few years ago when I had really bad allergies in my eyes. And so the doctor said I needed to not wear contacts for like two weeks. Oh man I felt so weird like just seeing me like constantly out in public in my glasses. Yeah, that was different
<b>Sam:</b> Awwwww 🫠
── 13:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] That's a very real thing and I'm pretty sure it's already happened to like Taylor Swift and some other celebrities but It's nice to know at the end of the day that it's not actually you although you know perception is everything but that person still like has their integrity. I guess you could say I don't know but yeah, it's a very legit freaking real risk. So fubar like don't piss people off OK
<b>Sam:</b> Yea I knew you actually weren’t. 🤪
<b>Sam:</b> Look at you. Trying to fool me
<b>Sam:</b> Get outtttt of here 😂
<b>Sam:</b> We need to come up with a code name for our wknd.
<b>Dave:</b> shared a photo
<b>Sam:</b> We have crazy night, date night, now what?
<b>Dave:</b> Last time I bright it up you said we’d name it after
<b>Dave:</b> But yeah I’m totally down to name it now
<b>Dave:</b> Though I haven’t come up with any ideas
<b>Sam:</b> Oh I did?
<b>Sam:</b> I was probably just busy at the time 😂
<b>Sam:</b> Lmao
<b>Sam:</b> I also don’t have any ideas
<b>Sam:</b> But also. Naming it after Is the best way to know that we sufficiently captured…whatever it ends up being lol
<b>Sam:</b> Ya know?
<b>Dave:</b> Think on it, and we’ll reconvene
<b>Sam:</b> Ok I changed my mind. We should name it after
<b>Sam:</b> Previous Sam was correct
<b>Sam:</b> We can brainstorm but nothing final!! lol
<b>Dave:</b> How about a code name before. And a natural, real name after?
<b>Sam:</b> Oooo
<b>Sam:</b> I like that!
<b>Sam:</b> God why the fuck am I so horny right now!!!!
<b>Dave:</b> We could call it Operation TBD LOL
<b>Sam:</b> Lmaooo
<b>Dave:</b> Probably your cycle 🤷♂️
<b>Sam:</b> No. This is daily.
<b>Sam:</b> And it is annoying
<b>Sam:</b> Am I ever going to be normal again? And be able to get through work without wanting to go to the bathroom to finger myself? 😩
<b>Dave:</b> God I love when talk like this 🥵🫠
<b>Sam:</b> I don’t hate it
<b>Sam:</b> No. This is daily.
[reply]
<b>Sam:</b> And it is annoying
[reply]
<b>Sam:</b> Am I ever going to be normal again? And be able to get through work without wanting to go to the bathroom to finger myself? 😩
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> Omg! I was seriously getting very hard at the gym, on the treadmill. I went from 0-100 over the course of that one voice message about you in answering the door in troll mode
<b>Dave:</b> God I love when talk like this 🥵🫠
[reply]
<b>Sam:</b> Are you mentally prepared for me to cum soooo much in your mouth? 🥵
── 17:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> SoftCopy is going to so good tomorrow!!
── 13:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> 😳🥵 were you mentally prepared for me to cum in my pants when I read that 🫠🫠🫠
<b>Sam:</b> LOLLLL
<b>Dave:</b> And yes, I’m soooo ready for all your cum 🤤🤤🤤
<b>Sam:</b> Holy fackkkkkk I want you
<b>Dave:</b> I almost can’t take it! 🥵
── 00:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> fucking either!
── 13:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> My mouth is literally watering right now 🤤
<b>Dave:</b> Like, for real
<b>Dave:</b> Which has also literally never happened thinking about eating pussy
<b>Sam:</b> My pussy is literally pulsing right now
<b>Dave:</b> But I want your pussy in my mouth RIGHT NOW
<b>Dave:</b> URGENTLY
<b>Sam:</b> You’ll have it, urgently, in less than a week and a half 🙏
<b>Dave:</b> Mmmmm just the thought of your pulsing pussy around my cock is enough to get me off 🥵
<b>Dave:</b> Hahaha, I’m gonna have another wet spot shortly 😜
<b>Sam:</b> Well it is still pulsing
<b>Sam:</b> Ugh I hope I can get some release tonight 😩
<b>Dave:</b> I feel like we’re about to/need to graduate to the next level of long distance sex lol… whatever that is. Sexting feels like it reaching its limits.
<b>Sam:</b> Oh? 😱
<b>Dave:</b> Idek
<b>Dave:</b> I can barely think straight I want you so badly
<b>Sam:</b> Feeling is mutual
<b>Sam:</b> I think next level is phone sex? But that sucks bc we would have such few opportunities to actually do that 😩
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah for sure
<b>Sam:</b> Or maybe I literally SHOULD start masturbating at work
<b>Sam:</b> So I don’t explode
<b>Dave:</b> I think that’s a great idea 😈
<b>Dave:</b> Then we could be on FaceTime 🤤
<b>Sam:</b> In the bathroom at work?!!
<b>Sam:</b> Are you insane!!
<b>Dave:</b> Wherever
<b>Sam:</b> Yes. Yes you are.
<b>Dave:</b> Insane for you
<b>Dave:</b> What’s insane about that?
<b>Sam:</b> Ppl can walk in at any time!
<b>Dave:</b> More so than masterbating at work in the first place lol
<b>Sam:</b> Bc they’ll hear someone on the phone
<b>Dave:</b> What about your office? That would be hot
<b>Dave:</b> Or your car
<b>Sam:</b> Possibly doable
<b>Sam:</b> Sir, I need a job
<b>Dave:</b> There are options
<b>Sam:</b> I have bills lol
<b>Dave:</b> Nobody would know
<b>Sam:</b> Possibly doable
[reply]
── 14:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> But also. I don’t want to have phone sex until we actually have sex in person.
<b>Dave:</b> Jan 29, 2026 2:00:36 PM So I’ve thought this through eh?
So you’ve thought this through eh?
<b>Sam:</b> You’ll never know 😉
<b>Sam:</b> Bc the buildup is insane. And the payoff will be 🔥
<b>Sam:</b> You’ll never know 😉
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> I already know you have 😏
<b>Sam:</b> Have you?
<b>Dave:</b> Hehehe
<b>Sam:</b> you and I after our couple days together…. Are going to be on another level.
<b>Dave:</b> Oh yeah! 💯
<b>Sam:</b> Why does this sound like you’re excited?? lol
<b>Sam:</b> And iiiiii am personally not looking forward to that lol
<b>Sam:</b> Bc I already want you sooooooo fucking badly now
<b>Dave:</b> Pants = leaked through again lol
<b>Sam:</b> Fucking killing meeeeee
<b>Sam:</b> Why does this sound like you’re excited?? lol
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> Being on another level with you?
Because 🥰🥰🥰
<b>Dave:</b> I thought that was a good thing 😅
<b>Sam:</b> shared a photo
<b>Sam:</b> Lmao
<b>Sam:</b> Bc of what we talked about in our last check in!!
<b>Sam:</b> Bc…REALITY
<b>Dave:</b> Ahhh I see where you’re at
<b>Sam:</b> Finally…. I’ve brought you down to my level 😂
<b>Dave:</b> We’ve met
<b>Sam:</b> Bc who knows when we will be able to see each other again and have suchhhhhh amazing sex again!! 😭😭😭😭
<b>Sam:</b> Finally…. I’ve brought you down to my level 😂
[reply]
<b>Sam:</b> I’m going to have a lot of platypus moments in my future, me thinks lol
<b>Dave:</b> We don’t have to figure that out right now.
Though I totally get where you’re coming from and am right there with you in that regard. I was still on horny/love/happy and you’ve moved on to horny/stress/anxiety already
<b>Sam:</b> Here I come to wreck the dayyyyyy!!!
<b>Dave:</b> We’ve met
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> I love that platypus stuck 🤭
<b>Dave:</b> Operation platypus?
<b>Sam:</b> Here I come to wreck the dayyyyyy!!!
[reply]
<b>Sam:</b> 😭
<b>Dave:</b> I love you AND your crippling anxiety baby 🥰😘
<b>Sam:</b> I have been meaning to ask you if platypus was also going to be YOUR word?
<b>Dave:</b> What do you mean?
<b>Dave:</b> Oh oh
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah, I figured it would be for both
<b>Dave:</b> But maybe we do need separate ones 🤔
<b>Dave:</b> That way we know who’s having the crisis
<b>Sam:</b> That way we can keep tally of who is in crisis MORE!!! 🤣
<b>Sam:</b> But yours also has to be a ridiculously random animal
<b>Dave:</b> Ok, come up with one for me
<b>Sam:</b> Ok you can pick between armadillo, hedgehog, or walrus
<b>Sam:</b> That way we can keep tally of who is in crisis MORE!!! 🤣
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> One of the SoftCopy Insights features I’m working on is exactly that!
<b>Sam:</b> Ahh!!
<b>Sam:</b> OK well we all know that I’m the winner there ok
<b>Sam:</b> Like, be so for real 😂
<b>Sam:</b> Ok you can pick between armadillo, hedgehog, or walrus
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> Hmmmm
<b>Dave:</b> Armadillo because of my hard exterior but inside I’m soft and vulnerable
<b>Sam:</b> Yasssss!!
<b>Sam:</b> You are SUCH a softie on the inside
<b>Dave:</b> You know, you have played a big role in me being able to recognize and express that.
Not sure if you’re aware of that. But you have heavily influenced my development as a person/man.
<b>Dave:</b> So thank you for that 😊
<b>Sam:</b> You’re welcome baby. You’re not giving yourself enough credit though, because you’ve been pretty open and vulnerable and self aware since like day 1.
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah, I was already those things for sure. But they have been enhanced by all 4 years of *waves arms around*
<b>Dave:</b> Is it 4 years? When does it roll over to 5?
<b>Sam:</b> This November lol
<b>Sam:</b> From when we had that 1x1 call that kind of kicked everything off
<b>Dave:</b> It feels like soooo much longer
── 15:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> Well I’m honestly impressed it took us over 4 years to MAKE a direct connection
── 14:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> Which is the opposite of how things usually feel
<b>Dave:</b> I guess because of our high bandwidth uplink 🤭
<b>Dave:</b> And pretty soon it’s going to be…. Direct connection 😏🤣
── 15:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> You’re such a dork and I love you
<b>Sam:</b> “High bandwidth uplink”? Is this lingo in like telecom and networking?? You need to dumb this down for me lol
<b>Sam:</b> You’re such a dork and I love you
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> 😘
<b>Sam:</b> Well I’m honestly impressed it took us over 4 years to MAKE a direct connection
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> Ikr!!
<b>Sam:</b> ORG ANNOUNCEMENT!
<b>Dave:</b> Oh shit
<b>Sam:</b> More are going to trickle in
<b>Sam:</b> Guaranteed. This is just Rick’s ppl
<b>Dave:</b> Meh
<b>Dave:</b> Nothing interesting
<b>Sam:</b> Now all of Rick’s directs will send out org announcements
<b>Sam:</b> This is so annoying. Like just lay them all out at once. Good lord
<b>Sam:</b> OK back to us
<b>Sam:</b> lol
<b>Sam:</b> Had we met in PERSON on day 1, do you think it still would have taken 4 yrs?
<b>Sam:</b> Meh. Probably
<b>Dave:</b> Idk. I think I would’ve been in - thinking back to that time
<b>Dave:</b> Or maybe I still would’ve been too depressed
<b>Sam:</b> Depressed from all the stuff going on in your life from the move and stuff?
<b>Dave:</b> I think it happened at the “right” time
<b>Sam:</b> Depressed from all the stuff going on in your life from the move and stuff?
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah
<b>Sam:</b> You know what’s interesting is I would have never known you were depressed
<b>Sam:</b> Bc you were so there for me in MY grief
<b>Sam:</b> Hmph I’m mad at you actually
<b>Sam:</b> 😂😂
<b>Dave:</b> What did I do?
<b>Sam:</b> You could have let me in more!!! lol
<b>Dave:</b> I would have if I wasn’t so depressed lol
<b>Dave:</b> And I wouldn’t have been so depressed if I’d let you in more
<b>Dave:</b> It’s a real catch 22
<b>Dave:</b> It was complicated though. “Depressed” is such a catch-all word. You made me feel great!
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] OK, so I'm like positive then that Stephen is gonna be the new Jeff because Britney's reporting to Steven now and also they just had to post the role because like it's required to post they probably already have a preferred candidate Stephen and it's just Like optics at this point or whatever the fuck going through the motions so then that means it'll be between Chris Foy and Brian for Steven's role oh God I cannot report to Brian again I simply dude I'm gonna have to find a new job if that's what happens I can't handle it but I really think that Chris Foy should get the role because Brian is too like fucking up tight and he is like such a browner anyway But then I don't know, man there's probably gonna be some other people trying for Steven's role as well people that like aren't already in Stevens work like people from CJ's world or Chanel's and then things are gonna change so much and oh my God, I'm kind of stressed
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] Also, I'm sorry but like going from Jeff, who actually has personality to Steven who like you can't even fucking read and who also like seriously I don't even think he's listening to people talk to him half the time or he at least not with me and it's like This is our new leader oh my God I can't. I think I need to find another job. I'm really stressed.
── 16:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> Jan 29, 2026 4:03:41 PM I’m going to milk you
I’m going to kill you
<b>Dave:</b> Yes!!
<b>Dave:</b> Awwe
<b>Sam:</b> LOLOL not milk
<b>Dave:</b> I liked milk better
<b>Sam:</b> You fucking whispering
<b>Sam:</b> You asshole lmao
<b>Dave:</b> Hehehe 🤫
<b>Dave:</b> You love it!! 😍
<b>Sam:</b> I still need to finish listening soon. Did I tell you that Peterson scheduled a 1x1 with me for 3pm 🤬
<b>Sam:</b> Ooooo now i know why he did
<b>Dave:</b> Finish listening to what?
<b>Sam:</b> Your whispering voice message
<b>Dave:</b> And why did he?
<b>Sam:</b> He applied for that director role reporting to Stephen
<b>Sam:</b> Your whispering voice message
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> Oh lol
<b>Sam:</b> He applied for that director role reporting to Stephen
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> Ahh
<b>Sam:</b> [Audio Message]
[Transcription] OK, I still want to kill you for being such a fucking ass, but I also was laughing the whole time anyway I was gonna say something I totally oh no I was gonna say dude this is not me being dramatic from the time that I read the organ announcements until 3 o'clock right around the time I sent you those messages. A whole fucking big ass pimple popped up on my face. OK the stress immediately just manifested itself on my face. So this is real I really don't think Brian would get Steven's role because Brian like his ass is too clinched like he cannot roll with the punches as Chris is like very pragmatic very personable And not Walking around with his fucking asshole puckered I don't know, but also like what if Eric went for that role or Doug Osborne like there's so many directors that could go for that role so Yeah, also I mean the biggest loss though for us all is that Stephen will be the new Jeff and Stephen He's not good he's not good. You can't read him. You can't even have a conversation like breakthrough his likeness like you said he seriously is like a fucking robot and you know me I am goofy. I am funny I am. Delightful and I can't even get the guy to like crack a fucking smile so we're all screwed
<b>Sam:</b> shared a photo
Oh this is fun. Right up the street from my house. 😤
<b>Dave:</b> Ugh
── 17:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> I’ll manifest something on your face😏
<b>Dave:</b> Yeah, if YOU can’t get Stephen to crack a smile…. We’re screwed
<b>Sam:</b> Totally lol
<b>Dave:</b> SoftCopy is going to so good tomorrow!!
[reply]
<b>Sam:</b> Haaaaaaaa
<b>Sam:</b> You’re So right
<b>Sam:</b> I can’t wait
── 18:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> Every day when I get home the dogs start acting INSANE. For like 2-3 hrs. Like they are on cocaine!! Yet with Christian they just sleep. Grrrrr
<b>Sam:</b> Also. You’re not allowed to keep going to the gym lol. Bc I’m too tired to go so if I’m gonna be all squishy and lumpy, then you have to be too 😂
<b>Dave:</b> They know you’re the one that loves them. They can tell who’s who
<b>Dave:</b> lol, lumpy… Trust me baby, I’ve got far more lump and squish than you do.
<b>Sam:</b> No
<b>Dave:</b> Yes
<b>Sam:</b> You are a man and men don’t get cellulite like women do. Bc the universe is against women lol
<b>Dave:</b> No, just plan old fucking fat
<b>Dave:</b> All around my waist 🙄
<b>Sam:</b> Lmao SO DO I
<b>Sam:</b> And no you don’t!
<b>Dave:</b> Bitch you could gain 20lbs and still be hot af
<b>Sam:</b> PLUS the cellulite
<b>Sam:</b> Bitch please
<b>Dave:</b> 40 even
<b>Sam:</b> no lol but I mean…. I’m glad you’d still fuck me 😂
<b>Dave:</b> You know what I was just going to say before you said that?…
<b>Dave:</b> Why am I getting hard…
<b>Dave:</b> But now. I’m all the way there
<b>Dave:</b> Again
<b>Dave:</b> For like the 20th time today 🥵
<b>Sam:</b> Yassssss
<b>Sam:</b> Yea if I don’t get a release soon I’m going to be in legit pain
<b>Sam:</b> So I’m really hoping a certain someone leaves tomorrow to run some errands lol
<b>Dave:</b> Just go “take a nap”
<b>Sam:</b> I know but even when one of us naps, either of us can just go into our room at anytime!
── 19:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> I’m even picking up news in YOUR city on my FB feed 🤦♀️ reminders of you everywhere!! lol
<b>Sam:</b> shared a photo
<b>Dave:</b> Mother fuckers be stingy about their fries down here
<b>Sam:</b> I love the fucking Longhorn decal on the police cars there 🙄
<b>Sam:</b> Sooooo Texas lol
── 20:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> Oh yeah! Did you know Fort Worth was the countries largest stock yard in the late 1800s? They drove 4 million cattle through here a year. And they still drive longhorns down the street here twice a day
<b>Sam:</b> Twice a day!!
<b>Sam:</b> Definitely did not know that
<b>Dave:</b> It’s considered a living history zone and has restaurants and shit that have been here for 100s of years
<b>Dave:</b> They have a cowboy shootout a few times a day
<b>Dave:</b> It’s a whole thing
<b>Sam:</b> What?!? A cowboy shootout?!? Like for show right?
<b>Dave:</b> 😐… no, real cowboys
<b>Dave:</b> 🤣
<b>Sam:</b> You’re an ass
<b>Sam:</b> There ARE real cowboys!
<b>Dave:</b> You’re so cute
<b>Dave:</b> Ok… I can’t even txt you normal stuff without getting hard 🤦♂️
<b>Dave:</b> This is getting ridiculous
<b>Sam:</b> And I LOVE it!!
<b>Sam:</b> Save some of that hardness for me in person though!!!!
<b>Dave:</b> Oh I am!
<b>Dave:</b> Hopefully 😅
<b>Dave:</b> I’m low key a little worried after what happened on crazy night 🤦♂️.. But I’m chalking that up to the alcohol so I’m sure I’ll be fine.
<b>Sam:</b> Don’t be worried ❤️ and if it happens again 🤷♀️ being with you, period, is going to be absolutely amazing
<b>Sam:</b> I can’t wait to just get a hug from you
<b>Dave:</b> Now I’m sure it won’t happen
<b>Dave:</b> You’re the best, sweetheart
<b>Sam:</b> I love you ❤️
<b>Dave:</b> I love you 💗
── 21:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> https://www.instagram.com/tydaltonofficial/reel/DPm8Mpyjp3o/
Ty Dalton on Instagram: "😂😂😂 Kids have turned soft these days!
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#explorepage #exploremore #tydaltonofficial #cooking #reels #viral #comedy #travelphotography #instagram #cars #nike #foodporn #makeupartist #memes #relationship #luxury #trending #relax #foodie #gym #black #funny #love #fashion #lifestyle #fitness #life #basketball #football"
72K likes, 3,054 comments - tydaltonofficial on October 9, 2025: "😂😂😂 Kids have turned soft these days!
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#explorepage #exploremore #tydaltonofficial #cooking #reels #viral #comedy #travelphotography #instagram #cars #nike #foodporn #makeupartist #memes #relationship #luxury #trending #relax #foodie #gym #black #funny #love #fashion #lifestyle #fitness #life #basketball #football".
<b>Dave:</b> Lmao
<b>Dave:</b> I love calling kids pieces of shit 😌
<b>Sam:</b> I know you do lol
<b>Dave:</b> shared a photo
<b>Dave:</b> Stupid Anthony just send me that and laughed out loud, not because it’s funny, but because of stupid it is lol
<b>Sam:</b> Wtffff lol
<b>Sam:</b> It is absolutely stupid 😂
<b>Dave:</b> I know
<b>Dave:</b> But I can’t stop laughing
<b>Dave:</b> And you confirming it just made it even funnier
<b>Sam:</b> Bc you are such a boy lol
<b>Sam:</b> But that’s ok bc I have also been laughing at idiotic reels for like 15 minutes
<b>Dave:</b> Speaking kind reels
<b>Dave:</b> shared a photo
<b>Dave:</b> Dominic just sent me that
<b>Sam:</b> Omgg!!! He went viral!
<b>Sam:</b> What’s the videos of? B
<b>Dave:</b> He stopped music this year to focus on becoming a mechanic influencer
<b>Dave:</b> Idk. Him doing some mechanic work
<b>Dave:</b> Jan 29, 2026 9:43:52 PM Go check it out. You’re literally ON IG right note lol
Go check it out. You’re literally ON IG right now lol
<b>Sam:</b> I’m WORKING ON IT
<b>Sam:</b> https://www.instagram.com/dominicflove/reel/DTwOXF_GP2Q/
Dominic Love on Instagram: "1.1M on TikTok😳
#foryou #subaru #fyp #bluecollar #trending"
10K likes, 125 comments - dominicflove on January 20, 2026: "1.1M on TikTok😳
#foryou #subaru #fyp #bluecollar #trending".
<b>Sam:</b> I don’t get it?? Bc I know nothing about cars
<b>Sam:</b> What is he doing? Lol
<b>Dave:</b> I have no idea lol
<b>Dave:</b> I asked him.. we’ll see
── 07:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> shared a photo
shared a photo
🤷♂️
── 21:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> https://www.instagram.com/dominicflove/reel/DTlHHV1j7Cl/
Dominic Love on Instagram: "Shhh we’re hunting wabbits 🐰
*No bunnies were harmed*
#foryou #trend #subaru #bunny #trending"
80K likes, 346 comments - dominicflove on January 16, 2026: "Shhh we’re hunting wabbits 🐰
*No bunnies were harmed*
#foryou #trend #subaru #bunny #trending".
<b>Sam:</b> OMG A BUNNY!!
<b>Dave:</b> I have no idea lol
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> Lmao I remember the bunny
<b>Dave:</b> I asked him.. we’ll see
[reply]
<b>Dave:</b> But in the meantime, I’m going to bed… I mean, already in bed… but now I’m going to sleep… after I think about you for 20 more minutes
<b>Sam:</b> I need to get up there too.
<b>Sam:</b> I love you ❤️ sweet dreams baby
<b>Dave:</b> I love you babydoll
<b>Dave:</b> Goodnight 😘
── 23:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> She could almost smell him, that clean, masculine scent she’d inhaled greedily in the back of that car on crazy night. Her hips twitched against the sheets at the memory. The shock of his fingers first touching her, then delving inside, finding her so embarrassingly, wonderfully ready. She’d grabbed his wrist, hadn’t she? A silent, desperate plea for more.
💯
<b>Sam:</b> Lolol. I’ve noticed that sometimes one of the stories like won’t have any punctuation whatsoever. And so this reads like an Asian person trying to type in English. LOL that is racist I know 🫣
The sound ripped from Sam’s throat in real life as two fingers plunged inside herself was muffled by her pillow A ragged moan Lost God yes Just like that Imagining thickness stretching burning perfect way imagining way would own claim ruin repair worship all same time Her own frantic motions weren't enough needed weight power needed him
── 03:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> shared a photo
The souna rip from sam throat in real rife asa to two finger prunge insihuself wasa muffle by huh pirrow…
I can do resist 🤭😉
── 23:00 ──
<b>Sam:</b> Do it, his next message read, as if he’d heard her unspoken plea. Touch yourself for me. Slow. Think about my mouth on you. Think about my tongue finding that perfect, desperate rhythm until you’re pushing my head away and pulling it closer at the same time. Think about me telling you to be quiet while you’re in a public parking lot, trying to swallow your own screams.
🥵🥵🥵
── 03:00 ──
<b>Dave:</b> I’ll never tell you to be quiet baby 😈